sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- night dear Work guy emailed and said he can't go to the wedding with me cause his uncle called this week and said he had some house warming thing Nov. 5...etc. It sounds a little bit "made-up." *I had to ask him for this info.* Strike one. Then he sends back an email of what I wanted to do this weekend. Strike two - I say we already made plans for your place. So I emailed backed: "dang I'm that forgettable. Thanks" I was pissed cause A. I had to ask him about going to the wedding - he knows I've been WAITING AND promised to tell me asap. Then, sorry but B. he forgets that we made plans? WTF? Yeah, I feel special to him. So I'm feeling let down by him, kind of like Jen get a hold of your emotions, I think I loosened my grip on my emotions a lil' bit to much. He's a man, albeit "sensitive" but still could turn out to be an asshole. On the flip side, fireman called and was especially nice and sweet today. We talked about him coming to visit, etc. And we had a good chat. I said I felt bad for using up all his minutes and he said it's only been 300...so I said I'd repay him somehow so we joked about "intimate" time as "repayment" ... (it's a joke guys.) I called myself the minute whore. So I can see fireman - is trying to keep his emotions in check with me, some of the things he says, does, I can see this. The real game is trying not to get hurt. I am excited to see him in December. I think it's something to look forward to because he actually likes to talk to me on the phone AND wants to see me a lot. That attentiveness, is what I love about him. I don't think it's about just getting a "piece of ass" with me because I'm sure phone cards aren't cheap and this boy calls me nearly every other day - twice a day - for a couple of hours. Not cheap. Yeah and he wants committment. Yikes! I feel like maybe with workguy we've just taken a few steps back, I'm feeling awkwardly "hurt" by his carelessness. Fireman seems to remain the only constant thing - granted we don't "see" each other, but we do talk more than me and workguy by two fold. I like firemans maturity, he's not afraid to say and do what he means. I feel like he does care for me, next time I think will be the telling point. Besides, ha ... we were talking about me on birth control - which for some reason takes me forever to climax - if at all. So with fireman, I never did finish. He was upset cause I didn't ...and kept saying he kept trying and trying...lol I feel kind of bad, I could've pretended, but ... I said I was nervous and that pill effected me. Hm. I practiced self love the other day and it was much faster, so I'm hoping that it has gotten better. I don't feel as horny as I have - previously, so I'm praying my body is back to normal now. Hmm it'll be odd with fireman is there again, I mean I told him I make no promises with us and sex, but somehow I can't see him spending the night and us just rolling over to opposite sides of the bed. "Night dear." 12:44 p.m. - 2005-10-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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