sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- flirty Yay. Only took me two tries to get my password this time. I rock. So last night I went to tackling my squeaky bed. I flipped off my mattress and found the culprit box spring that was rubbing against the wood. So I used a sock and shoved it into the squeaky coil. And wa-la no squeak. I felt very good about myself. So I flipped on my mattress (which I did all to well and nearly knocked over my night stand which contained a glass of water) ... so I remade my lovely bed from the 1700's (antique rope bed my grandfather restored) ... and I hopped in. You guessed it *squeak.* Fuck!! I got out and realized two joints - the arms that hold up the bed on the one side, squeak like a fucker. I shifted my bed and scooted it. See it can't lay against the wall due to radient heating - fuck - so I went and got some cooking oil and poured a lil into the hinge and shook the board and... stuffed some paper into any open cracks. And yeah, we still have a squeak, THOUGH not as bad, but still a muffled, fucking SQUEAK. So that's all I can DO about the squeak - alone from taking my bed apart and greasing? Oiling? Where the boards meet. No thanks. I figure there hasn't been thrusting action in my bed for two weeks now. And with fireman I really didn't notice the squeak, but with cop we both noticed it. Hm. I figure next time I will try the other side of the bed or say "your place." Yeah I'm obsessing about a squeak. I'm nutty I know. I also have noticed how dirty my apartment gets so quickly. That grosses me out. I'm a neat freak I think. I am going to clean good NEXT weekend ... oh fuck I can't! My parents will be here.... So sometime during the week I'll clean - it's not to time consuming really. Need to hide: condoms, lube and my toys. I feel odd having to hide these things and yet odder to think I own these things. I think my sister got my mom's - not really sexual - ways. I got my dad's sexual appetit and kinkiness whatever. I mean I like to mess around, I don't know what happend in me. I think it's the emotional thing? Still, anyway. Tomorrow I see my work guy. I told my friend at work about him and feel odd cause I think it's the truth, hard cold truth when you're telling someone else about someone you're interested in. You see all the problems pointed out by yourself. I told her, he's shy, but we communicate well. I just am not used to his shyness, this challenge. Last night, I kept trying to figure out if I should make a move, or let it go as it is. What is so funny is his nervousness ... shyness ... makes me that way too. So last time when he was leaving, I couldn't look at him and was blushing and feeling nervous and scared cause I know he was! When he went in to hug me, I wasn't expecting that, and felt slightly odd. If he wouldn't tried to kiss me, I don't know what I would've done. The timing wasn't there. Which is why, it's like...our timing. I've decided to just let it go with the flow, if I can get a word in edgewise to let him know, it's okay ... I shall. I might say, "kiss me on the cheek" just to...well that's closer isn't it? It's a slippery slope of going to fast and embarassing him and myself. Yet also is a slight push, which maybe is what he needs. The OKAY, it's okay to touch me. He needs this, I believe. Last time, I think, he was feeling it, trying to ... he's trying. I'm just trying to be patient. Anyway I will try to be immaculate tomorrow. Today I look very nice and good hair/makeup/clothes day. Tomorrow I'll try EXTRA hard to look pretty for him. Lord, Jesus GOD help me if this fucking old bat that sits across from me doesn't stop fucking coughing today. For Christmas I'm getting her a bottle of water and some cough drops. A fucking BOX of cough drops and breathe mints. *cough cough* ... two minutes later *cough cough* muscus throat clear *COUGH*. Disgusting bitch. Sorry, I cannot stand it anymore. If I could say something I would, I just can't Anyway, no word from fireman ... I suspect a call today? Maybe tomorrow. He has to do some type of programs on some days of the week there that sometimes keep him busy. I'm not complaining. I will if it's Saturday afternoon and no word, then I'll be like HEY what up biotch!! Oh my pillz are effecting me fucking again. I feel very on edge lately - this week especially. Not sure why. Plus last night more heart palpitations/shortness of breath so bad I woke up. I don't like that feeling. I felt dizzy and just plain like my heart was stopping. Am going to finish this pill pack and make an appointment in Nov. to see my gyn. I like these pills as those sexual side-effects have ceased finally. Now I'm "back to normal" in that field. Less horney, easier to "climax" ... also changing battery in pocket rocket - a VERY GOOD THING. WHOA! :) Ha. Yeah it's odd to say that, sorry to you sheltered girls out there. I used to be that way too, but eh. No one in my family, none of my friends know I have "toys" ... let alone I bought a "jack rabbit" a few weeks ago. Used it twice, and eh ... not my favorite and thinking about getting rid of it .. trash? Lord how do you throw those types of things away?? Is that a dildo in your trash, or are you just happy to see me? I can just imagine the raccoons finding that and dragging it out. Oh man.... I think I'll hold onto it ... for a while, maybe chuck it at someone's house - I wish I knew where cop lived. That fuckyer. Oh well, I downloaded the Ben Folds Five new CD, it's not to good. They went astray from their old stuff. This is weriod stuff, hmm. WTF. Also have been watching those 80's VH1 3D show. Ha, I love them. I especially loved seeing my Jason Mraz in all his geekiness on there! *Sigh* I adore him. Oh well, it's almost Friday. Rent is due next week and I'm broke yet again. And this old bitch is still coughing as she has the whole time I've been writing this. Could I throw my mouse over there and say it was an accident? Okay it's almost Friday and tomorrow I shall try to be cool, calm and collected ... and flirty. Yes, a lot more flirty. 9:34 a.m. - 2005-10-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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