sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- to do. Okay I did a search on the net about dating two guys: Q: A: Has either of these dreamboats asked you for a commitment? Has either asked you straight out if you're dating other people? If your answer is no on both counts, then there's no need to lie or to volunteer unsolicited information. However, you should be truthful if asked a direct question. It's not as if you're doing anything wrong by dating two men at once. Besides, why shouldn't your boyfriends realize other men find you attractive? That said, there's no reason to utter lines like, "Gee, Tom spent more money on me last night. He really knows how to treat a girl." It's fine at this stage of the game to have several men in your life. If and when you start to fall in love with one of them, you'll probably want to stop dating others and have a discussion about exclusivity with your main man. Until that happens, be sensitive, honest and your own sweet, adorable self -- and let the good times roll. Hmmm...makes sense. I just don't need my mom pressuring me to dump people left and right. I'm still upset and mad at her today for yelling at me and telling that work guy was going to dump me if and when he finds out that I'm seeing fireman. That's so fucking lame. She is so fucking cruel and hurtful to me so many times and she never apologizes. A couple of weeks ago I was telling her how bad my ex's house was and she was like why did you stay with him, I thought you were smarter, what was wrong with you? I was like I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU. And I got quiet on the phone and was like when the FUCK WILL I LEARN. So great to have a mom whom I can talk to ... she just fucking judges and says such hurtful things to me. I just CANNOT TAKE THAT RIGHT NOW. I'm sorry, if I thought I would lose work guy simply by seeing fireman (seeing? FUCK I NEVER SEE HIM!!!), I would DROP FIREMAN right now. But we're simply only BEGINNING TO DATE Work G! It could all change tomorrow. If he starts with committment, I will dump fireman in a second .... So why keep fireman on the pay role? Guilt. I feel like ... he was there first and feel like I should at least see him once. I'll see fireman what, one, maybe 2 or 3 days that he's here in December??? Please. That's not even dating. I don't even know ... what will happen now. I just feel a lot suddenly for work guy. And fireman isn't calling as much as he did before due to his new job there. So maybe it's falling apart already. Who knows. I just know I'm really hurt by what my mom said and hate her dooms day words and I feel like crying just thinking about it. I see my parents on Friday, but I'm still pissed OFF at my mom. I know she's going to give me the cold shoulder now and ignore me. She's so immature. It's so wrong what she does. I pray I am never like her. I hate being ignored and not talked to because I'm making my own decisions in my life. OH I'm so fucking THANKFUL she pushed me at my ex. Yes. And telling me when I dated him that I was TO HARD ON HIM and EXPECTED TO MUCH FROM HIM. Lord. What the FUCK DID SHE KNOW. I'm glad she knows my feelings and others feelings. Enough so that some guy treated her daughter like SHIT and I ended up in therapy. THANKS MOM. Keep on pushing .... So anyway, I'm still very upset by her and tired of it all. I'm going to stop talking to my mom so much. I can't take her flipping out - which she has a lot now that I'm dating more and on birth control. Especially now, she calls my sister to have my sister "talk sense to me" ... I'm tired of this. Today I turned off my cell phone and am not answering my home phone. I do not want to talk to anyone in my family. I keep thinking, should me and work guy, come into something serious, I just want to have him become my go to person to talk to. He'd never flip out on me ... I mean, not like that. I'm tired of ... my family. Of being told what to do. Jesus. It's so fucking dumb! Anyway, for now, I'm not going to do anything ... let it go as it should and go by gut feeling. I'm not talking to my parents until a few days go by. I can't take this shit this week. I have to concentrate on tomorrow, I see my work guy. I hope I didn't pressure him into kissing me or whatever. I just think he's getting ready to ... try to? I guess. Right now I'm so messed up with everything, I don't want to think about that. Just to have a good time hanging out. I guess that's all I want. Why do I feel scared that he'll just want to be friends, when I know ... he doesn't ... or is so excited about Monday and seeing me at work and then seeing everyone else. I think we're alike in a lot of ways. And somehow I think last time, I don't know how, but we clicked. We were, there.... I don't know on the same level. So I'm pushing all these ISSUES out of my head cause yesterday I was FINE with them, but today after my mom flipping out, etc. .... No. Tomorrow I see him and we're going to hang out and that'll be the last time until probably Sunday? Yikes. So tomorrow, live it up and just relax and be happy. It'll work out, it has to. I don't want to ruin this, and I know what I have to do.
6:10 p.m. - 2005-10-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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