sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- coffin What a cold, grey day for a wedding. Two weddings to be exact. My sorority sister's and one of my dearest friends. I'm not going to the sorority sisters wedding as I cannot afford a present for it - and I don't like her that well. The other, I'm going to - my parents are too - and they are just going to include my name in the card. I hate to be "broke" but somehow the cost of simply living is making me broke. It's funny to say that, cause normally I'd say that I've got to stop buying "stuff" however, I've not boughten a shred of clothing, shoes, etc. in probably a month or more now. Not sure where this money goes. Groceries and Gas ... oh and bills. I pray I get at least a job promotion - that job I'm vying for - soon. Something is better than nothing. Last night my mom was like "when are you going to the bank next?" I said...I don't know. And said never. So she was getting ready to write me a check. Which upsets me, it's like I can MAKE IT ON MY OWN. You can't give me money every fucking month. I mean I have about $300 to live on for the next two weeks. I can do this. Only food and gas (whatever bills that come). What is the fucking kicker is that check will have to last me about the whole month, as then my rent is due - ala the next check. Thankfully December has three pay periods! yay. So exactly, I'm living pretty Po' right now. Trying to pay off my visa so it doesn't get out of hand. And hope my car doesn't break, and try to keep costs down with my sisters wedding stuff. So a raise, would be a blessing. Though I feel reserved enough to say they wouldn't give me much, something. But maybe they would? Regardless, anyway. I have to get dressed and ready for my dad to bring up this sewing machine - so I can finish my sisters project - and fuck I should start making my own clothing. ha. At least I could maybe start on a quilt? Oh no, it's raining out. Isn't rain on wedding days a good sign? Or do people say that to make them feel better? Eh. I still am mildly pissy with work guy cause he never seems to email me back. There I am emailing sweet and nothing. Thanks. I hate being ignored. I guess I'll have to "tell him" cause he said he wanted me to do that instead of just writing it in my diary. However I don't want to look "picky." But fuck. I don't ask for much? I mean some COMMON COURTESY that's all. *hmmph* Oh well today was my last pill ... that means I have a week to buy a new pill pack. I have no ins. when it comes to prescriptions (well I do now that I changed it) that means I'm paying out of pocket for these pills. Can't see them being "cheap." I also started taking multi-vitamins and have/am feeling a lot better now. I think maybe my body is somehow deficient in something cause of how I eat - not a lot of meat - mostly lean cusines, pierogies ... salad sometimes, etc. Not to healthy. Regardless, I'm off to Target to buy some hair spray and more vitamins and some wrapping paper. I should buy pads too since I have none ... *shutter* I hope it's not to bad. I will buy a trial pack of tampons too - just to try? I feel at odds with it, it sucks spending money on stuff you don't know if you'll use ... but eh I can give em to my sister. Oh well, I hope I don't get to down and dumpy tonight. So fucking nice to know all my friends and etc. are MARRIED. I am the only single person I know anymore, aside from my friend at work. Seriously. I have no more single friends. No wonder I feel left behind. Everyone bawks at saying "it'll happen" whatever the fuck hopeful SHIT. It just sucks when everyone is a 1+1=2 and I'm just 1+0=1. People get into they BULL SHIT where they can't fucking SHIT without their mate. Instead of saying let's go to the movies, it's like "yeah I'll ask John if he's free" ... um no I was just asking YOU. Argh. Married people. Fuck off!!!! I dare think that I should be one of those people, one day. But one day, feels like never and hope into these new guys is more like another fucking nail in the coffin. 10:07 a.m. - 2005-11-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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