sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fuck off. Ugk. I'm grumpy in a major way today. Not sure why. I'm still upset that I cannot spend TDay with my parents. Stupid fucking snow. I really dislike having to spend it with my sister and her fiance. I miss having family. Big family with lots of people. I miss all of that stuff. I don't think I'll ever get that back in my life, not unless I get married and have a lot of kids or whatever. Even then. So ya'll who live near your parents or who have big families, I envy you. Regardless, I'm slightly bitter and sour today. Trying to be happy and go lucky me but finding this hard cause of this slight feeling of disappointment, upsetness. There is nothing to do about it, so I should just stop now. I could be one of those people who have nobody and nothing for tomorrow. I shouldn't complain. WG emailed and told me he can't come over for dessert .. saying his mom said his father, who's in bad health, was looking forward to spending time w/ him and that he should since he's in a bad way. Etc. I understand. Have I said before I've always fucking hated Thanksgiving, it's three years of shit thanksgivings in a row, 3 w/o seeing my parents!! Now I have to go to my sisters and eat and then get RUSHED OUT because she and her fucked face goon fiance has to RUSH OUT to his aunts for dinner number two. I'll go home and sulk and sleep maybe or clean or whatever. I really am disliking holidays anymore. Yeah I have zero family and no good loved ones to even fucking care. I'm just pissed off right now. I could cry. Anyway, I know I'm just in a sour mood, I'm just tired of the bullshit in my life I have going sometimes. Why do I even try? Seriously. Does it matter if I'm a GOOD person anymore? I love how WG says, instead, hey we can do something this weekend. Fuck off I'm not planning shit and if you want to do anything HE IS COMING TO ME. I'm tired of planning and worrying and making sure everyone is okay and happy and loved. What about me? I'm always always the one that reaches out. I'm so fucking tired of this bullshit. Maybe I should just STOP. Arrrrr. Fuck off. 10:29 a.m. - 2005-11-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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