sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and ... shut up I had a wonderful, lovely time, with WG yesterday. This whole weekend I just ran around. It was crazy. Never have I been so busy. A happy busy though. I feel happy, just have a piece of my heart ... that is wrong, that I know I must fix. Thankfully I feel it healing, growing stronger, willing to change my ways. STILL. Saturday I spent with my sister. Got my nails put on and then boom helped her fiance and his kid pick out a Christmas tree ... lunch, I washed my clothes, I helped put up the tree, then we all went to her fiance's house to celebrate his sons birthday. I think at that point, maybe I fell a lil bit more for WG. Though he wasn't there, I did bring one of the presents I got for my sisters fiance's son - as I was going to give it to him for Christmas - I gave him the one (a battle armor set) - for his birthday. My WG picked it out at the toy store and I have been so worried about it since I bought it...worried the kid wouldn't like it (he's 7) ... so when he opened it, I held my breath ... and he said "oh wow, oh my gosh!!!" He friggin adored it. And I sat there thinking how wonderful WG is. ha ha If the kid hadn't liked it I don't know what I'd think. But it was the first toy he opened and played with. I kept thinking how I would have to tell WG all about it. I realized how much he has come into my life. Effecting so much of it anymore, my decisions, choices, I think about him to much and I'm okay with it. OKAY so Sunday, I went to Old Navy with my sister - yes they have a small CLOSET for the plus size stuff. And who the fuck says that plus sizers want to wear low waist jeans? My sister and I are disgusted at that fact. Though I was overjoyed to find nice shirts and even better a sale rack! I said I can go in this store now and not feel out of place. So I bought a really pretty purple sweater to meet WG's family in. And I got a green velvet-ish purse. Wonderfully, my bill came out to $28 bucks! I know at Lane Bryant it would've been at least $50 for what I got. I also am very disappointed in Lane Bryant. I know I'm a lady of size, but I do not like to dress like a whore. I don't like to wear ponchos. I don't like to wear cami's all the fucking time with empire waists to make me look even bigger. It's bull shit. Plus to pay so much for something ... the sizes are fucked up now - I just haven't bought a good pair of pants in SO long. It sucks! Sorry for that mini rant ... so I went there and while there WG called and we chatted and decided to do his Christmas shopping. So I finished up there and ran to TJ Maxx for a minute (I was with my sister) and then a quick bite to eat (I paid) ... then ran over to his house. The boy, needs new clothes. He has to go buy some (thank GOD) .. and I said I'd go with him. I'd never seen him in anything new since I began working here. Always the same outfits. Yuck. Always black, dark blue. No colors. Anyway, so we did his shopping and drove everywhere and he kept saying how glad he was that I was helping him and how he'd never get this done should I not have been there. He said he wished tomorrow was Christmas Eve cause he's so excited about spending it with me, etc. He was all cheesy about it. But he was great ,and is now, with holding my hand, or putting his arm around me, etc. I also found out that his mom wants me to come over after Christmas which I was kinda upset about ... but understand. My parents weren't coming for Christmas due to my sister will be gone at her fiance's and I would be at WG's ... now that's changed and they want to come for Christmas, for me. I felt a bit upset, but understood as they have issues in that family. So I'm happy, hopeful my parents come down for Christmas. Or else I'll be alone, uncopeable to say the least for me. STILL I didn't let it ruin me with him ... and tried not to let it bother me to much. I found out he's taken two girls to meet his parents and he'll only take girls he thinks are "worth it." To meet them. The first was in college - they'd dated 10 months. Then it was his wife, after dating her 3 and a half months. Now lil' ol me. He said I'm the most unique and different girl he's ever dated. He said I was nice, wonderful, good looking. I told him to shut up. Anyway, I was poking fun at him in the parking lot while shopping and he said I hurt his feelings (jokingly) and said I had to kiss him. I was nearly shocked, he's never asked for a kiss before, so I was like OKAY. ha. THEN, yes folks, again. While playing cards and he won and me the sore loser glared at him and said "no fair" .. he said he knew what would make it better and got up and kissed me and said "we're all winners." Arrr. I called him gay. lol So ... yeah. After shopping I bought him dinner and some pie - he let me FEED him pie - which was odd. I wouldn't let him feed me though...to odd. Ha. I'm such a hypocrite. We went to my apartment afterwards and I wrapped up his presents for his friends at work. He was so happy to be done with it and happy that I helped and he said it meant a lot. He said all he has to do now is get my present. Hmm. He said it's something he hopes I use, and every time he goes to buy it the store is closed. I'm wondering what it is. I told him I was all done with him and not worried at all about it cause I got him a kick ass gift. He blushed and said give me a hint. I said, okay it's a present. He said, really tell me. So I said actually I got him nothing at all. In his cheesy manner he said, you know just you being with me on Christmas Eve is good enough, I don't need any presents if you're just there with me. Arrr he's so cheesy sometimes. He kept saying he wished tomorrow was Christmas Eve ... etc. He makes me feel nervous about it. So we played some cards (Uno) cause I'd had a hankering and then watched some TV. He's been starting to give me some of the shit I give to him, back at me. He's getting more comfortable with me. So I went and sat by him. And he put his arm around me and I layed back on him and we watched tv. I figured this was the time for a real kiss. And I got nervous and couldn't bring myself to say or make a move or look at him in a way that he'd know. But, it was there, I think we both felt it. So in a leap and bound we're at the threshold. We're there. We talked earlier about sex - for some reason. I told him he seemed aggressive in his style - and he said he kind of was. Yikes. So now we go into talk about sex and he's talking about me and him and I'm like a shrinking violet and told him I felt uncomfortable (jokingly). So yeah, he's on the move again and I'm still suck behind. At least, I feel confident the whole kiss thing is coming. We kissed ... a lil more than peck -- a few times last date. Sooooo yeah. Anyway my parents sent him a Christmas card. He told me is going to send them a card and he said...my card...he's going to give me in person. I got scared, again. He makes me nervous with that stuff. I have a feeling he's going to be all gooey, cheezy on Christmas Eve.I'm figuring he's going to write something in my card, something I have to read in front of him and then I'll get all blushy when I read it. Nervous. Not cry, but get emotional. Whatever. Fuck. Still, I'm making him - yes - from scratch a peanut butter cup cheesecake. I have to use a springform pan and everything. He said that's one of his favorite desserts and was so excited about it. I'm just excited about him opening up his present at midnight. Watch him get me a watch too, that'll be fucked up. I'm worried (again) about if he'll like his watch. I tried to pick out a good one, but I SUCK at picking out watches!!! I don't know why. Just like picking out rings, it's just hard. My mom thinks me and him are going to be engaged by summer or something odd ... I'm like no. Mom said she has a feeling next year she'll be helping plan another wedding. Uggg. Talk about counting all your eggs in one basket. It's only been two months of dating! Please. Still, I think we both are feelin' something. We both say we've never dated anyone like each other before and we have a good time together. It's just wonderful. Yesterday, was my favorite date since I met him. I don't know why. I just felt comfortable with him. It was like how I spend time with my sister, just comfortable and easy going. Not all nervous like I always was with my ex. And WG told my ex how happy he was and how great I am and how we have an excellent time. He said nothing at all. How rude to WG. I told him if I was anybody else, it'd be different. Still WG said how much prettier I was than my ex's new girlfriend. HA. That always feels good. The girl at work here said that too, she was like, you're prettier than her by two fold, you are probably the prettiest girl he ever dated. Whatever. I know I'm not ugly, but I also dont' like to be called that ... modest? I dont' know but WG keeps telling me how good looking I am, how classy, he says I'm a lady and pretty and and and ... shut up. 9:20 a.m. - 2005-12-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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