sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- trimmed Soo I thought my internet was down, however tried this morning and it's alive and well. So I called the repair person - not an hour before he was supposed to arrive - and canceled (automated). I'm scared they are going to charge me. However I canceled prior to 8 to 10 window (7:50?) ... and never confirmed the appt. So I guess that's two things I can bark about and say listen I didn't want to pay the $45 bucks (you have to pay if they come and find that it's YOUR fault) .... so eh. Fuck them. If they charge me ANYTHING. I'm calling and going to bark at them. Growl, etc. Oddly enough I got my cable bill. Well it's cable and internet for $70 a month, then it goes up again, and in January I have to cancel my digital cable - oh how I shall miss it. NOT. I barely watch TV as it is. The only time I really watch it, is with WG. Whenever he's over. Or if I'm wrapping presents, or doing something else - as background noise. Regardless. It's snowing like crazy ... like it's snowing that much that I'll have to sweep off my car when I leave tonight. I brought my lunch, that's how bad it is. I also found out my antenna .. the one that guy broke off -- isn't a "easy fix." I have to replace the base on it due to the bolt in it... well.... it snapped it off entirely. I found a site where they sell them, so it'll be around $20 or so. Then...my father will install it, as I'm afraid of WG doing it....er....he seemed timid about it. So I'm W/O antenna until spring/summer? Not that I entirely mind...I mean I still get stations ... sometimes they are fuzzy, but I listen to cd's a lot. Thank God I live close to Chicago as my stations come in pretty clear for not having any antenna. Ugh. I'm entirely bloated again. Granted my pill - this first week back on it - I feel 50% better on it than last month. Though am feeling paranoid again and today noticed that I was feeling upset about WG for really no reason. I'm trying to keep my emotions at bay. But I do see emotional flare ups - due to pill - but not as bad. I tell myself to stop, shut up or turn my thoughts away. Lately I've been thinking about how I need to become the nice girl again, and am making a good clean effort. So far, right now, I'm doing great. I'm basically worried about fireman. He comes home, now ... in less than a week. I think he's sort of jealous of me and WG. And I pray should fireman be over - and WG call...that he won't make an ass of himself. WG knows he's going to visit. Unless he's forgotten. Though I don't think he has. Tonight me and WG are supposed to hang out and then tomorrow. I'm feeling - at odds - again - this is my pill talking - with the lack of intimacy. I really hate to say this, type it - as I'm OK with it - we've grown lately in this ... holding hands and last time HIM finally asking for kisses....but today I felt inside this frustration ball in the pit of my stomach. That's all I'm going to say about it. I'm very bloated. I hate it. I feel like a cow. This pill, the first week ... instantly I'm bloated. I felt it yesterday at work.... Still, I'm boggled by how the majority of the pants I wear, fit looser in the waist. Yet, the jeans I have on now, feel a lil tight in the tummy area, I'm guessing from bloating. I have been sort of active lately. Didn't hit the gym yesterday, but I've been running around shopping like a fool. That has to count. So I'm still in the "planning" stage of how to lose weight and get back on track. Stop procrastinating and just do it. I mean....I just feel blah and unmotivated, though this wedding should be motivation. ... People seeing me naked ... in the dark ...hands touching me .... should be A LOT OF motivation. ;) So I'll get back on track somehow. But today, I'm just happy to see my WG and tomorrow too. Just thinking next week this time ... well tomorrow ... we'll be gearing up for Christmas Eve fun. Him cooking for me and ... us opening up presents. I'm wondering if he wrote me something to read in some card. I hate when guys do that, I mean I love it, think it's emotional ... but makes me want to cry..... I dislike crying like that. Though my ex wrote me stuff last year and it was like aww...but I never felt like crying. Though I think I did tear up - just as an effect? Still ... ugh. At least the 29th I get my hair cut. It needs it so badly. It had like a growth spurt. WTF? Seriously people at work are like...are you growing your hair out? Uhh...noo..... Plus it's turning dark brown. I went from blonde....now to dark ...odd colored hair. The color of my mom's hair - kinda chestnutty?? I need my streaks back too. I can't wait to get it trimmed. 8:39 a.m. - 2005-12-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||