sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- love me in some way Ah. I had a long day. It started last night at 12:30 when the phone rang and fireman was on the other end apologizing for not calling me. He's coming over Thursday to drop off my DVD's and show me pics from Iraq. He said he wanted to one more time and I said no. I said I was the faithful girl. I told him I really like WG and can't do that to him again. He said he understood, and I feel good telling him straight off that we're not going to do those things again ... please readers - know - that I would not see him again if he did not have something of mine. He's upset with me. In this tone, last night, he hinted that when I'm done with WG he'd be there. I said, I think this is it .... He was quiet. I wished he'd never talk to me again. Maybe he knows. Maybe it's why Thursday I'll finally say goodbye to my past. It's a good thing, I feel. An ending. Regardless WG and I went out tonight and in some ways ... the boy ... makes me laugh. And it's odd now when I look at him ... because I CAN look at him now and feel OKAY. I think it's so sweet ... we talked about New Year's and how he said he knows when I'm pms/hormones because I'm not myself. He said he could tell and tries not to do anything to upset me. And if I do anything off the wall he says...he keeps telling himself that I can't control it (I really can't) ... and that I don't mean it. I realized, that maybe the boy does love me in some way. 10:02 p.m. - 2006-01-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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