sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- good. Duh. I am still sorta DUH lately. Not sure if it's the pill or just a lack of concern/care about things that I don't fully thing out something. I got an automated call from Walgreens this morning that my prescription was in. I didn't ... uh ... go in to order a prescription? I was sitting there thinking, WTF I'm not going to shell out $14 for my BC when I don't need it right now ... then I thought more on it and realized I only have two weeks left on it before I need a new pack. It was a "OH" situation, and I'm off to Walgreens after the gym tonight to pick up my BC and put yet more strain on this here bank account. Seems like, I just can't save money right now. My crazy spending on food, gas, bills ... boy I should cut back on eating and driving around and start using candles in my house. Thinking cable might just be a thing of the past, my cable bill will climb - to undoubtedly $80 to $100 bucks for cable and internet. It's fucking crazy. So I'm slightly upset about the fact I'm trying to save money ... but cannot seem to. My bridesmaids dress is in, I've paid $100 on it, and they said I still owe $115 that must be paid before the end of Feb. Then I'll have to pay alternation fees. Shoe Dye fee ($14). Is there no end? I also printed out my sisters shower invitations, they look fantastic if I do say so myself. I wish I could go into business print invitations for people cause they look that good. So today my day has been - taking out all the trash in my house (finally cleaned out my fridge ... omg ... ew) .... taking my clothes to my car so tomorrow I can leave straight from work ... printing out invitations/cards ... burning cds ... hitting the gym and at work creating two pages in a magazine (spur of the moment) ... threw it on the page .... didn't really concentrate .... just sort of threw it on the page, with graphics I liked and uh ... formatted the text, made some style sheets - didn't really ... uh feel to very creative with it. The woman absolutely loved it. Or else she was trying to make me feel better. She is taking it out on proof today to show the client - a hospital - which was named top hospital for something, some magazine, I don't know. I wonder if they will know that the "design" took me merely 20 mins to do. Boom. Anyway. Me and WG had a fucked up day yesterday. Have you ever done something with good intentions and had it backfire on you? I mean entirely innocently try to ease someone's mind, but them taking it entirely way way off base. That's what happened yesterday. It began with me saying (mind you, innocently) and if he needed to, he could hang out w/ friend or his family on Saturdays if need be. See Saturdays are usually our day because we stay up very late usually or he'll spend the night. So it's our day. I simply was saying that we could do a Sunday sometimes or whatever. So he goes to email me back with ... "do you think we're spending to much time together?" Ohhh here we go ... I read that and first thought, does he think we do? I email him back telling him Noo I think we're fine and in relationships you need to see each other more as the relationship goes on ... blah blah blah. So I pose the question back - do you think we spent to much time together? So he emails me this: Aw. At first when I read "I want to spend time with you" ... I was waiting for the "but I ...." So I read that - after being all emotional about it feeling like this is the beginning of the end, the assholeness is coming in, but I was wrong. We both are nutty like that, both scared to lose each other it seems. That boy. Ha. Still, so sad, I can't have dinner w/ him tonight as I'm doing invites for my sisters wedding, and I have things to do. I told him he could come over if he wanted to ... not knowing how long it'd take. But I said or else I'll see you when I get back. So his weekend - w/o me - is going to be probably relaxing for him. Ha ha. Hanging out w/ friends, etc. I mean it's odd. Do we really impact each others life and times like this? Already? I realized, what my sister told him what to do for me for Valentine's Day ... the gift that doesn't cost anything. I realized today that he could write me a love letter. Something like that. I think in that, I would love to have more than anything. Something where he tells me how he feels entirely. I contemplated writing something in the card I'm bound to get him. Oh folks, for his Valentine's Day gift....lord help me ... I'm making him a blanket. See while at Jo-Ann's he loved this bears fleece --- he loves the bears though they just lost --- but he loved it. While walking through the fabric, there was this extremly soft fabric - kind of like .... a teddy bear - just so fucking soft. He laid his face on it and was like "Jesussss can you imagine this ...." and went on to say how he'd like to make "love" on it. ha ha ... So yes. I thought "This will be easy" and I bought 2 yards of the bears fleece and 2 years of this other fabric. Yes. I had a coupon .... it cost me $31.00 in fabric! I didn't realize the soft fabric ... was $18 a YARD, until I used my coupon which brought it down to like $11 a yard or something. PLUS. My MOM has to sew this cause I was going for the No-sew fleece thing....I can do that -- tie knots. But this shit is something you can't cut or it sheds. So my mom is going to help pin it and she said either I can sew it or she will. I figure she can cause I SUCK at sewing straight on a machine....I fuck up. I am going to embrodier our names into the bears side. Argh. Since I got all this SHIT I'm like...why did I do this? I contemplated at the store just throwing the cut fabric on a shelf and being like "fuck this." But I know he'll love it. I bought some heart ribbon to wrap around the blanket when I'm done. Now, should I get him a shirt to go w/ it? Or is the blanket enough? I mean how much does one spend for Valentine's Day? Yikes. I suppose the blanket and a box of chocolates would do the trick - as ... well ... he loves chocolate. This part sort of sucks about dating, it's like buying shit for people ... is like hard sometimes. What is enough or whatever? And the whole CARD thing, are there cards for VDay that don't say "I love you" ? I mean seriously ... I wish one of us would just SAY IT so it'll open up the whole buying field. Anyway, I went to the gym yesterday and yes, was there nearly an hour. Did elliptical AND lifted weights. Yay me. I hated to go back and lift in the "woman's area" cause you get some snooty biotches back there who think they're better than you cause they are thinner. But guess what, I've come to realize that shit does'nt matter cause you can be thin, but ugly. Ugly can be both the outside and inside. The decay of personality, just rots the face. So I leave tomorrow at noon to go to Michigan. Lunch time will be - gas up - grab a burger and drive to Michigan. Though I worry about my tires (enough air?) and about the oil in my car, or that faint burny smell I smell sometimes - best to check my oil? Fuck I wish boyfriend WAS coming over tonight cause I know my beloved COULD do this for me. Oh well. I am going to have to kick ass with weight loss now. Not entirely, but doing that 3 day diet when I get home. There is not a lot of food in my house right now. So that will be good. 1:38 p.m. - 2006-01-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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