sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- close to it So I woke up with a scratchy throat and upset stomach. Not a good combo. I'm assuming the cold my mom had has been passed onto me as this is how hers started. I'm so not wanting to get sick, take off work, go to doctor and have to pay even more for visit then prescription. I'm thinking maybe I got ill at the gym, as last year when I had walking pneumonia - I got it from there. I feel ... tired mostly. Just headachy and fuzzy in my head. My throat feels odd and my voice sounds all deep and husky. As if I'm talking low, phone sex voice. I dreamt last night that I want to the gyn and they told me that I was pregnet. I wanted to get an abortion and didn't know what to do. I knew I wasn't going to tell anyone and just have it "done" and that what I was doing was murder due to my own carelessness. I woke up relieved. I get my period next week - and feeling like sex, though fun, also has so many risks and things that could change your life ... that sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. I'm mostly - well was - careless with sex. No condom? Oh alright, just "pull out." Now that's careless. I figure with WG - as he is the only man in my life - that we'll have to be careful. Though we're far from that place, I still think on it sometimes. It's not far from my thoughts, and for him, I assume he's thought on it too. The way he says things. It's predestined, it's just a matter of when. Regardless, I'm toying with going to the gym tonight. If my stomach is still like this ... I won't go. I forget the rule of thumb ... go when your symptoms are above the head? I think that's the rule. I weighed this morning and lost 1 lb. I guess that's something. Call that 1 lb of water weight - or sickness weight. Something. Saturday I'm going to try on my dress, but right now I'm feeling mostly like shit. Tomorrow my sister is coming over and we're maybe shopping. Friday is movie night with WG, Sat. is dress trying on and date with WG. Sunday is my time - cleaning and maybe hit the gym. My weekends are spent - next week is a work gathering ... a games night. And I think I ought to ask WG to spend the night. The weekend after is the bridal shower and then Valentine's Day. What shall I do when this wedding is over? Seriously, what left will I have to do? Right now I'm not caring, I hate scratchy throats, it's annoying. I've lost my appetite today as well, that's a good thing at least. If I turn pale, then that means I'm sick for sure. Regardless ... I signed onto yahoo last night and got two 'im's' from guys. I have on my profile that I'm in a relationship...yet they still contact me. The one says he IM'ed me drunk. He'd contacted me before, and yet doesn't realize...why would I want to even be with someone who calls/im's whatever me drunk? Give me a fucking break. The other, was some dude I guess I talked to before. Very cop-ish looking . Cute, maybe back in the day I would've contacted him. But I deleted both of them. No replies sent. Goodbye, go away. I'm in a relationship, and really don't want anyone else. I can't see anyone treating me like my WG does - as he's the only man who has ever treated me like I'm worth it. Or like he wants to be in this relationship, this 50/50 thing, not me doing all the work, but us. "We" ... though it's not entirely perfect, but close to it. 8:55 a.m. - 2006-01-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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