sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- nuts I had thought by Friday my cold would be gone, though my mom has told me repeatedly she's still coughing and sneezing from hers. But Friday WG came over, I wasn't as nervous as I usually get when he comes over. Maybe it was the emotional turmoil I had over him all week. He was cranky and looking at me like I was nuts as I tried to fix the card box as he didn't drill holes large enough. We sat and talked and he said he was so sick this week and again, that's why he didn't call. He threw back to me what I normally say "I could've died and you'd never have known!" We decided to go out to dinner, we drive around for an hour trying to find a non-busy place, but every place was packed. So we opted to order a pizza and sit in a parking lot talking until it was done. We talked about sex, briefly. I said we haven't done anything in SO long, he said that's because I'm still sick. I asked him if he was asexual because he never seems to want to mess around. He said, Jen, you've been sick .... I thought for a moment and wanted to say, but not before that but I didn't. He talked about the L-Word and when that's said then it's REALLY serious. I said, I thought we WERE serious. He said, well SERIOUS SERIOUS. ha. But that sex will mean more now, that we've started out a relationship on friendship and now workin' on the sex part. I talked about visiting Michigan and how my parents were pushing the twin beds apart "Just in CASE." He laughed at that and said, "bullshit ... I'll push them back together." Hm. And I joked that we couldn't do anything cause it's to echoy in my bedroom in MI. He said, well we'd be quiet. He looked at me sly and said, we could do it. I wanted to laugh, sex. US? I mean considering a lot of things, I see sex in a far far away land. He seems to see sex on the horizon. I want to say, you haven't even touch my girlie parts. I haven't even touched your dick yet. I didn't say anything, but sort of felt odd. We talked about protection - his old ways, etc. I said I hate condoms, but don't want to get prego. I'm on birth control, but scared to let him come in me. He likes the "pull out" method. I said, dude you're not goo'ing on me. I don't know why we talk about these things. But I'm tired of being sick. Cause I think we're to the FUCK AROUND point. Like ... it's THERE. But again, I'm sick. FUCK Also found out he is going to ex's "games night" on the 18th. I got pissed cause that was supposed to be OUR Valentine's Day thing ... where he was going to cook for me. So I stopped talking and on the couch, leaned to the other side away from him and he was like WHAT'S WRONG...Jen. I said nothing. He goes on, "well I won't go" I said OH NO You're going to do your guy stuff. I sat there quiet and he said, you're not even close to me, why are you over there? Are you mad ... blah blah blah. I was like JESUS CHRIST JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I'M FINE. Geez. I'm feeling pissy about that, but know I can't take up all his weekends. Still HMMPH I HATE MY EX for taking up that weekend. Also talked about ex's wedding. I said I'd ONLY GO if WG needed me to. *ARGH* And WG said if he got married he's INVITE ex cause they are friends. I said HA. No. I said only to the wedding, not the reception. He looked at me like I was nuts. On well gotta go, nail appt, dress fitting and then WG coming over. I wish I could get better quick. 8:13 a.m. - 2006-02-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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