sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fault ... If I was a guy.... I'd have blue balls. WG came over Friday - with a cold. He felt better all week, but was sniffling and coughing. At first saying he'd be "okay" ... then led to him saying he felt like shit. Sore throat. I got upset. I won't lie. I was very ready for some good fucking around time, and though I know we're more than THAT. I still wanted THAT. In my own way, I threw my lil tantrum. I was short. I got up and got on the different couch, covered myself up with my coat. I'm sorry. I was mad. I know it isn't his fault that he's still sick (temp. changed from 45 to 10 in the span of one day). But he reached his hand out saying to come sit by him and that I'd be coming back and I looked at him and said coldly, you think so? In fuming, I calmed myself down as he tried to smooth it over - knowing I was upset - saying, hey I know a new place we can go on vacation. I didn't answer. I got up to check my mail and he reached for me again and I didn't go for his hand. I said, isn't it funny how when we first met you wouldn't touch me or get close to me .... So I looked up the place he wants to go for vacation. He got up and put his arms around me and we looked at the site and things were smoothed over. He kissed me a few pecks and hugged me some more. I gave him some of my cough meds and he got so tired from it, I had him spend the night. We lay in bed, holding each other and he was gently touching my boobs again - which of course drives me wild for some reason. I told him, calmly, that next week is my last week on my "pill" ... and I get extremely horny. He says I'm in my sexual peak. I said, well are you going to help me out next week? Or do I have to call my stand in? Ha. joke. He said he would help me out. And this morning while leaving said he was interested in seeing me on Friday and we could stay in and order a pizza..... He said it'd be fun. He also said - well we talked about birthdays and I said, do you think we'll be having sex by June? He said..."oh yeah." For his birthday he wanted me naked in a cake. lol I said sorry, no. I said I'll fuck you that day if you like. I said I'd wait on him hand and foot, anything he wants I'll do. He also ran his hands over me - tickling me - but close to a lot of things. He says we're def. ready. He also said, next week I might get to meet his parents. Yikes. Other than this, we have April, June, July planned out. I think something in May might be coming up. It's odd to plan out things like this. But right now I'm so sexually frustrated and feeling like I'm being tested by God - testing my faithfulness - because MG has been itching to get over here again. I've made excuses, told him no, haven't talked to him. However I've thought about it, though WILL NOT ACT ON IT. Though sometimes, I don't get how excited I get with WG's touch. WTF is that? I feem embarrassed, should he touch me below - I actually got wet from making out last time. I know that'd turn him on, but to me, it's somewhat of an embarrassment? Don't know why. He told me he was getting hard when we were kissing. I should've said, well I was getting wet when we were. So I think we are ready - and lord I really NEED it right now. He also commented ... that if we do things - that it might just lead to sex. Duh. I kinda thought on that for a moment. I said it'd be ODD to fuck him. I mean "make love" ... I don't know why. I know he's nervous about it, but I say you get to a point while fucking around that ... you just GO with it. Still, this morning while he was sleeping I shifted my body and felt him a lil. Hmm. Regardless, he wants to do something tomorrow and maybe he'll feel better and we can do SOMETHING. I already feel horny ... and KNOW next week, will be HARD because I get extreme horniness beginning Wed. Thurs. Fri. Sat. due to my impending period. Lord...I told WG I just can't get ENOUGH. So we'll see, I guess, I can wait and WILL NOT talk to MG or fireman. No one. Though some other fireman in the area wanted to come give me a massage. I said, I didn't think my boyfriend would like that to much. It's fucked up, that I draw men who just want to fuck me. I dont' think I'm "hot" or whatever ... I just don't get it. Still, I'm practicing faithfulness. And changing the batteries in my pocket rocket. I feel slightly bad for being bitchy to WG for not messing around with me last night. I mean was that wrong? I seriously was just FRUSTRATED. Sexually frustrated, and maybe he knew it as he apologized this morning for coming over sick, "sorry for last night ....." I said, honey it's not your fault .... 9:07 a.m. - 2006-02-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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