sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- getting better So I go to the doctor. I'm feeling like shit and I get there early and my appointment is at 11:30. Get there at 11. Wait until 1:10 to see the doctor. Doctor is good - nice lady - who really wants to help, very nice. I sign forms to release all records to her from my gyn. She looks in my mouth and says, "ohh...your throat is a mess...." She feels my stomach and she feels my lymph nodes. She says well we'll get you a strep throat test. And we need blood. Blood? I say....why? Well, I want to check for MONO. *Thud* ME? MONO? The kissing disease?! I'm shocked and my mind spins and ... I'm thinking oh my god. She says, we'll know tomorrow and I'll call you. I want to see you again in two weeks. *Thud, thud* She says, if you DO have it, not to do anything - strenuous - as your spleen gets enlarged and you could ... well bleed to death. I'm feelin' whorey. The KISSING disease. I haven't kissed ANYONE but my WG!!! I haven't told him ... yet ... and if I do have it, I have to tell him. I feel like I cheated on him with a million guys when I haven't. I can't have it. If I do have it, I got it from work or the gym. OR maybe WG? I know he hasn't cheated on me ... but ... ugh. So I feel crappy still. Am taking Monday and Tuesday off work. Hate to think of all the things I have to do - tomorrow I'm supposed to pick up my bridesmaids dress! I was supposed to mail out my bill - at work! Start exercising and that new diet! So it's just...bad timing to get sick. Thankfully it wasn't over my sisters wedding. Speaking of which, I have two weeks to finish up a booklet, table cards!, and centerpiece stuff. ME: Not feeling well. Me: Procrastinating. Oh well. I'm going to head to bed in a few. Feeling really off center today, worried about WG getting whatever I have. I had to tell the doctor I've been with four men. I felt kind of odd saying such a thing. Four men, when most women back in the day only have one or two. My sister: Two men. Mom: one. Me: four, soon to be five. Lord. I see the error of my ways - and right now, mono scare, at least I'll know tomorrow. The blood test was horrid. The nurse, that bitch that choked me last time with the throat swab. Did it again - choked me TWICE. Then taking blood --- she wrapped up my arm and smacked my vein - which likes to A. hide and B. not give blood. I felt the needle go in and felt her press on my arm - where the needle was - so it'd give MORE blood. I heard a spurt sound of my blood, I read the disclaimer on the wall trying to take my mind off of it. Her only good thing - she took out the needle and it didn't hurt. However my arm bled like a mofo. I love how they smash down the gaze as if it doesn't hurt. People, I find, lose the fact that they are hurting you. And you, act brave as if they are not. So who's to blame? I say this as I look at my tiny bruise on my arm, looks like I shot up tonight. Just me and my mono. I pray I don't have it. I just can't. Where would I get it from? Month is starting out bad. Me broke, and sick and yes. FRIDAY. Was the night we were supposed to get GOING in our intimacy. Fuck! I think I'll be better by then - seriously - I have no runny nose. Just a sore throat and enlarged lymph nodes. It's a bacteria infection. So if I get another yeast infection I'll fuckin' die. WG wanted to go down on me Friday. Though I can't see that happening...not now... I mean ... I don't know. All I know is my doctor said should I choose to mess around to WEAR CONDOMS since I'm on antibotics. Ha. What a thing. Right now. I'm feeling like I knew I'd get sick Friday. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I so was looking forward to a good .. messin' around .. so I shall focus on getting better. 8:48 p.m. - 2006-03-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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