sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hope So how come when your doctor prescribes you pills for your aliment ... that somehow the pill itself makes you sick? I mean it's like, putting on a bandaid that makes you bleed more. Something that's supposed to be fixing me, is breaking me in other places. For some reason, medications, always seem to kick my ass. This time around, my antibotics along with my birth control, is just kicking my ass on different levels. From back aches, headaches, paranoia, nausea to stomachaches, I'm going down hill this week. I know antibotics do this to you - the stomachaches. Because this pill is eating up all my good bacteria. Right now my stomach acts up every day. Hurts. I'm slightly worried about a yeast infection, but I'm eating yogurt everyday. Next Wednesday is my last day on the "pill" ... I get 1000mg of antibotics a day. A side pain, today. A headache later on, I'm stressed all over again, feeling ready to cry. Talked to WG and was kind of bitchy to him and today is our anniversary. I sound like a country song. I'll make it up, attempt to be nicer. I will. I told him he takes everything I say wrong. I told him he takes it all bad when I mean something else. I wasn't TO bad, we didn't fight. I just was being dumb. He'll get over it, and probably has forgotten about it already. My sister called and asked if I could watch her fiance's son tomorrow. She did it in a sly way. The conversation: "Jen what are you doing tomorrow?" I told her going to the movies with WG. She says, "Oh well after it could you come over for a bit?" I say, okay....why? She said, "Just for a lil bit...." I say...why?? She tells me she wants to take out her fiance cause none of the groomsmen are taking him out for the bachelor party. So she is. I said I'd skip the movie ... and me and WG will watch the boy. A sort of odd. Odd family dress rehearsal. I called WG at work and told him and he's cool with it. I said I felt like I was ruining his Friday. He said, no just as long as I'm with you.... Aw. Everyone say "aw." So then I was kinda snippy with him. I was joking around a lil, but I think sort of ... I don't know. Regardless, I'm sitting at work wishing to go home, but I can't as I have to pick up my dress. And as I have to run with my sister someplace, and as I have to pick up new windshield wipers. My windshield wiper has the rubber coming off. And of course, it's raining today, tonight, etc. Regardless. I'm feeling ... eh ... at odds this week. Trying to get better, but feeling I could slip back quickly into this illness. Mostly, I need to just sleep I think, but I have soooooo much to do anymore. I have to ... wash clothes tonight and cook for myself. You see, I'm on this diet. I'm not following it exactly. Not horrible, but not as I should. I'm going to begin measuring my food and stuff like I ought to. Today I was so wanting a dunkin' donut - donut. I mean how much when I'm NOT on a diet I do okay, but when I am I think of all the things I want - want a white castle or want some pizza. I guess that's a diet - but I pay for this .... and fuck me if I'm going to fuck up. Just need to find some newer ways of eating better...uh... Next week I'm taking a mini pilates class - 20 minutes - beginner. Then Thursday might try an exercise class. I know I must do this, and it IS cheaper to buy food - and really fat free butter ISN'T bad. Really! So it's a positive mood, but old habits of no portion control is my culprit. I bought gum to chew as I find at work - end of day - stressed - my jaw needs to be movin. Oh well. I feel like shit today . Tired, my stomach feels like someone kicked it, headache. Everyone just leave me alone. And WG, lord please, tomorrow. Let's mess around. I mean this shit is gettin' old as hell. I don't get it, but can't complain sometimes. He is kissing me and touches me and it take two to tango. With words I'll operate him, or movements I'll glide him to where I want him to be ... and then he'll get used to it - just as he has with kissing me - and it'll be okay. I hope. 2:19 p.m. - 2006-03-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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