sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wonder .... Day whatever, on pill 1,000. I have only 5 more days of antibotic fun: upset stomach. Woo hoo..... I guess I should be happy I'm on them, my ear is hurting slightly today. Everything else feels okay. I think my lymph nodes are still slightly swollen. I am worried about my stomach still, never had this many stomach-aches in my life. I bet this is how people with ulcers feel. Other than this I'm okay. My birth control has taken a back seat and is like, okay I'm not going to fuck with Jen this week. Usually by yesterday, today I'm feeling depressed and nutty. I just feel slightly paranoid - but I think it's cause I watched like 5 episodes of Autospy on HBO. Fuck. Why do shows like that scare the fudge out of me? I guess the murder aspect. It seems So easy. Like it can happen to ANYONE. Makes you never want to piss someone off. I have images of cop coming back to murder me for some fucked up reason. Then Fireman chopping my head off and then MG killing me and no one finding my body for weeks, until tenants start complaining about a "smell." I know, see, these shows --- overactive imagination! Regardless, if anything, I still laugh that WG got upset cause I told my mom that WG is so strong, that he could kill me. It was funny we were laying in bed and he laughed softly and said, I can't believe you told your mom that I could kill you. He put his hand over his eyes and laughed. It was one of the funniest things to date ... ha.... I really didn't mean it like he's a murder or anything. Though he's got a temper - that Italian temper - but I think most of it's fluff. I love the, "Jen I'll never hit you, but if you cheat on me, I'll kick his ass and yours." Uh okay.... Anyway, I'm ... feeling odd today. Kinda tired, but feeling better. Mostly, not to horny. Not as I have been. So tonight, who knows what'll happen. I thought on just letting HIM do whatever ... YOU TELL ME when it's time to hit the sack. This boy needs to be told what to do. I feel like he's almost whipped now ... and I dislike that. I like for guys to think on their own, however enjoy when he tries to please me so. Ugh the wedding is in two weeks now. And have I gotten anything really done? No. The "toast" ... have I worked on that? No. I'm thinking of something so short and sweet. My mom yelled at me for obsessing on it. Jesus. Anyway, I can't wait to see my WG in his lil suit. He looks so good in blue. Ugh. I don't know anymore, we're shifting again. I mean we've both fallen for each other in a way - it's like we're comfortable now. I mean I like this relationship a lot. What is good is there isn't anyone who thinks it's wrong, or that something is amiss. The only people who have said anything is the old bittie who thinks I should find some rich guy. That's just stupid .... Money, doesn't buy love or happiness. Other than that. I don't know. How long will it be until Love is used? Is that the next step? Still he calms me down a lot. And intimacy, we do have. However I'm missing the sex part. But that will take time. I know it. And there's no rush. Cause you could end a relationship if you pressure and toss in things to quickly. But at least, I know and he also knows that we do want each other. I think our timidness ... it's starting to break up ... cause we kiss more passionate each time. So it's coming ... but when, no one knows. Regardless, Pooks called today. I really miss him sometimes. No one makes me laugh like he does, he said I should move to Florida with him - I probably would if I was single? I don't know, he's been such a great friend for so long - 11 years? Geez. It makes you wonder ..... 9:11 a.m. - 2006-03-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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