sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that feeling. You'd think that because I ordered something from Old Gravy on Sunday, that it would be SENT by now. Alas, that is not the dealio. It's Tuesday and still, no "your items have been sent!" message. My debit card, not billed. I meet WG's parents on Saturday again - and in that, I had a great sweater from Old Gravy to wear over a crisp white shirt from LB and dark blue jeans and lovely shoes... and and and my fucking shit hasn't even been shipped yet. 3 to 7 shipping days. That means if they get it out today, I might have it by Friday. I also ordered WG a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt. Things I wanted him to wear - so he looks crisp, clean, nice, etc. Alas, I feel the shit isn't going to arrive. That sucks. I'm ready to crack out my easter gift to him - a cool track jack and a nice blue tee-shirt and also got him an orange one too. Very coolio. But Easter is like ... weeks away and note me stealing another chocolate egg from his basket ... oopps...... Regardless! I called WG yesterday at work to ask about something with an ad. We chatted and it was nice and fun. His mom had called him a million times. She's nervous about meeting me, wanting it to be perfect. I said that's so like my mom. Overthinking and overdoing it all. Everyone seems nervous about it all, and I'm getting kind of ... well I don't care ... I mean I do, but then I worry about if they'll like me, etc. I guess I really do like WG a lot, and them not liking me, would be an issue? Though they did'nt like his ex - she was psycho - and the mom knew and tried to tell WG and he poo-poo'ed it. But I'm not crazy nor do I need anyone to take care of me, etc. etc. Um... I don't know. I go both ways. I don't know anyone who really dislikes me, but I know sometimes you simply just do not LIKE someone ... just a feeling you get. Sooo I figure, well WG thinks I'm the cats meow, maybe they will too. Or else ... they won't. Ha. But that's some stress, knowing they disliked his last girl, it's like ... shit...what about me? I know he says that me and her are total opposites, so I don't know. I know she had a temper and was nutty and shit .... I know I'm crazy, but in a good way, I don't blow up on people - etc. So I'm trying not to care, but still sort of nervous and know when I'm waiting outside that door I'll be like OH MY GOD. I pray they aren't thin as a rail --- I mean I already will be the tallest person there and I'm only 5'8!!!! I'm going to get some flowers Saturday morning probably -- like let WG go home and do whatever and then go get them. I guess I'm worrying about nothing. But he's happy so I'm sure they want me to like them. So it's a two way street. People trying to impress each other ... and I'm certainly thinking that I'll like them already - especially if his mom is like my mom -- a talker. The father and sister sort of worry me - sooo..... Fireman called me last night at 11. He started off with saying "what the fuck do you mean don't call you anymore?" I was like ... what.... as I was sleeping entirely --- and was like dude don't call me up yelling at me. I told him that we hadn't talked in so long that I didnt think he wanted to talk anymore, etc. I said me and Wg are serious now. So he starts in: well you can't have FRIENDS? You know you're like one of the people who keep me sane out here, blah blah blah blah. Then saying, well don't think that cause I talk to you, it's cause I want sex ... I want our friendship, etc. I told him, whatever, then let's be friends .... I mean fine, call me, but I swear, it's like I know when he gets back here, he'll want to meet up and then ... you know what happens. Argh. I just don't understand why he can't let me go. He must be desperate, as I don't feel our "friendship" is worth holding onto. He must be getting something from it, but I don't. So I figure, do whatever. I'm not seeing him in June. I know it now. Go ahead, talk to me, but that's all you're getting. My period is very light this month - it's nice from last months monsoon. Though I keep waiting for the flood to come. I have nasty cramping though and am very moody - and ready to cry at the drop of a hat. I hate when I get like that. At least my back ache is nearly gone, just have a lil headache, but overall I feel okay. Now that my sisters wedding is over, I'm trying to recover my bank account. It's like it was wiped out in a tornado and I'm slowly picking up the pieces. I put $450 on my visa yesterday and felt awkward about this --- sadly I have $960 or something to pay off - note that I also am putting $40 extra on it a month for the gym thing I'm doing. I canceled showtime - saving me $20 a month now. In May I will get rid of DSL and digital cable - saving me $50 a month. Yay! I just thank god for my tax return. I mean it saved me. Now I'm rethinking frugal living and I got to thankfully get a lil loose with my spending - though not TO loose. No more clothing until spring/summer when I really need something - and only then will I shop frugal at per say Old Gravy NOT Lane B --- I just keep thinking, you don't have to pay off visa quickly because when you do, that's when you get into this shit living. I'm contemplating quitting my new diet thing ... I know it's bad, only been there a MONTH, but ........ that's $40 a month that I don't really have. That's $40 on visa a month. I'm still thinking about it, maybe try it until June and see how I do. At least give it a chance to get serious, why I started around this wedding is BEYOND ME. God knows I haven't lost shit, esp. now with period and then eating out ..... But now it's time to get back on track. I just hate having someone watching my weight and loss and everything. I mean it's like get off my fucking back. If it gets like that, I will quit. I'm going to really start exercising in April - give me this week for my period and to recoop from the wedding (still recovering!) ... and then meeting his parents on Sat. ... just give me time. I want to exercise again, I love that at least. Anyway .... I better get back to work, I feel so tired and crappy ... I just want to lay down and pray these cramps stop. Or that my period stops. Yesterday WG said we're going out tomorrow after work to see a movie. Then Friday he said he was going to take me to a nice dinner and then ... do something else. I said "mess around?" and he paused and said, "yeah" and laughed. Ha. Saturday he wants to go out and do something, not sure what yet. He seems happy about this weekend that is our first, in at least a month, to ourselves. Also, I think that boy has regrown his mojo - his sexual desires are way way back. I mean whoa. I figure he hasn't had the taste of it, in a longggg time. At least 2 to 3 years..... So when it's back, it's exciting and passionate and just so good. All I know is on the dance floor at the wedding, we slowed danced to three songs. The one, he kissed me once, then again, went in for a third and I felt his tongue on my lips. I said, dude ... my parents are here. My dad saw it. yikes. ;) That's when I took him upstairs. *sigh* I've never made out with someone so much before. I think the whole sex thing is coming cause when we start sometimes it's like we can't stop. Don't you just love that feeling. 9:42 a.m. - 2006-03-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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