sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there I'm sporting something new today. Something I really dislike, and wish I didn't have, but my entire fault that I have it. Yes. I have a hickey. A symbol of white trash and a heavy make-out session, I have a - no, not small one - no, not one that can be hidden by turtleneck, but a large one, near my jaw line. It looks like an upside down heart -- and the size? Think silver dollar. Then a smaller one under my jaw line (hidden). And my make up ... yeah doesn't conceal it good enough and yes Saturday I meet his parents. *Thud* Last night was wonderful with WG. We saw Inside Man - which was a good movie, however VERY long - nearly 2 hours?? Afterwards we ate up the bbq prime rib (I froze 3 prime ribs from my sisters wedding) and we had a light cesar salad and then strawberry shortcake. It was a good meal. We talked and talked. And he is going to go for a diff. job where he works and ask for a raise. We talked about his parents, etc. etc. etc. Then I said I wanted to lay down and wanted him with me, so we lay there chatting. In that, I commented that after a year we'll have to have that talk. I explained after a year of dating, you have to ask that where do you think this relationship is going?? question. He said ... I already know. And he said, "do you want me to say it?" I said... uh... okay.... He said, I see us long term. I said long term, like marriage? He said just. I said long term, like kids? He said yes. I said long term, like growing old together? He said yes and laughed. I said I felt the same way and he's the only man that I can see myself having kids with and that I've known that we were long term, for a long time. I then said, you know one of us is going to have to say the "L-Word" pretty soon. I then said, "I'm not talking about the TV show either." He laughed and was quiet. No, sorry to say, he didn't say it. Nor did I. We feel it, but I think, it's ... scary? Still. After all of this, he told me his mom asked how we were and where he thought we were going. He told her "mom, we're pretty serious." She was happy for him. So anyway, after chatting, we started kissing here and there. It was sorta getting a lil hot and a lil passionate. I was like...uh oh...... We're kissing and he feels me up, and I'm like, uh oh he's *never* done this before. And we're kissing and kissing and it's getting hotter...heavier. Hotter ... heavier. It's like waves crashing, hotter, heavier and breathing harder and lord it's like you're falling into an abyss. He stops and whispers, "Jen I want you so bad....." And I whisper back, "I want you too." It was gay. But then I'm whispering, "I'm glad I waited for you ... before I never thought you'd come around ...." And he whispers back, "god I wanted you so bad at the wedding, upstairs ...." Unfortunately I'm on my period so nothing was to be done down there, no sex. Just the heaviest kissing I've ever done in my life. I reached down for him, but he said he had to much clothes on, etc. And I was like...okay just kissing. So this goes on and off, and we come to a point where it's like we can't slow down or really STOP. I mean it was really fucked up. We'd stop for a moment and hug or whatever and then I would lightly kiss his lips and suddenly we're back at it. He kept saying, "Jen what are you doing to me ...." And moaning off and on ... *phew* He also ventured into my boob territory ... mouth wise. *NEVER* Did that before either. Still it's so lovely to hear someone purr into your ear, "god I want you so bad." So finally it's 2 a.m. (we went in there at like 10?) ... and I'm sitting on the bed with my legs dangling and he gets up huffing and we look at each other and bam he's kissing me all over again. However this time I swear to god he jerks my shirt open and is at the boobs again, I was like....whoa. Kinda shocked by that..... And then he pulled my legs around him and he was leaning into me as if to fuck me? I don't know...but my mind kept saying, "Jen you're on your period....Jen??" His hands started to pull down my pants ... and then I pushed him off me a lil and sort of stopped the whole thing. Which was really hard. I would've totally had sex if I wasn't on my time. I mean man alive, woooo weee we both wanted it. I told him Friday ... I should be done and Friday he's going to take me out to dinner and I whispered, a short dinner and he joked on skipping dinner altogether ... and then back to my place. So my lil wg is totally back and ready. I've never felt such passion before, I mean when he says he wants me, I KNOW he does. I guess it's not a superficial fuck. But man alive, I don't think I've ever wanted someone so bad before. He said he has blue balls ... lol and then he said at one point he was about to blow his load - I know which point he was talking about because he really got into it. Yikes. He keeps telling me now, how beautiful I am. I really dont' like it, I don't feel that way, I'm pretty, but to him I'm sure I'm the cats meow right now. Lord knows that boy wants to make love, and I get the feeling it'll be multiple times..... My only issue is ... condom useage. I'm on the pill, yes and want to use the pill at my contraception, however if Friday is to be a fuck fest, then ... I dont' know because I'm on the placebo pill. Granted I know you can still use the pill even on the placebo (it's in your system) but I guess I'm just slightly worried. My first time sex with a man who has live bullets. It's different than having fireman come in me, I know he shoot blanks. But WG is fully loaded and live ammo ... etc. I guess I'll play it by ear - also since I'm not ovulating - ala period will end probably today as barely anything there - I guess we'll play it by ear. Hell we might not even .... But after last night, man alive, I don't think I've ever been so generally turned on. Nor has he, he was like a wild man. Rarr. Evolution and human creation, mother nature, it was there. 10:28 a.m. - 2006-03-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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