sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- drugs... I'm on day four of a five day antibotic. And yes I still have a sore throat, swollen to the max lymph nodes and ear ache. These are supposedly stronger pills and I just feel blah still. I'm like wtf is going on here? And what happens if I don't get better after Friday? I only take one more pill. Then I'm cut off?? I'm guessing, by magic, tonight or today I'll be back to normal? I do feel better, my sore throat goes sometimes and now it comes back mild and not as bad as Monday. But the lymph nodes are up to the wazoo - I look like a frog - my throat is deformed by both of my lymph nodes being so swollen. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and was like oh my gawd .... Still, I do feel better today, trying to be positive thinking by tomorrow I'll be better. I'm drinking juice now. Large quantities of juice so the vitamin C can work it's magic. I tried a salt-water gargle last night. Did nothing at all. I was like ... what is the point of that????? Regardless, I am very tired of feeling like shit. I've felt like shit since Sunday. In bad pain since Sunday too. The pain killers I have seem to not work unless I OD on them. Take like 5 ibruption in like 4 hours and shit. I'm just fucking boggled by how I'm taking a strong antibotic and .... still feeling like shit. I though meds were supposed to make you feel better? I mean one more day on it.....I mean ONE MORE DAY and that's all I have???? I dread to think if I still have this Monday because I don't want to go back to the doctor - that is $84 bucks a visit - I think I'd call him and tell him that I saw him and still am sick, but wonder if he would require me to come in? Also can't miss anymore work, think I have 1.5 sick days left before that turns into vacation days ....etc. Now that sucks. Okay won't think bad. I am feeling a lil better each day. Right? I mean yeah ... uh ... I only did just take my pill like ... 3 hours ago and it lasts all day long so it's not yet ... like kicked in. Right? I see Wg tonight as well. We chatted yesterday and he said if I didn't feel well he didn't have to spend the night. He said he could drop by tonight (yesterday) and I said no. I said we'd see how I felt tonight, etc. I do feel better at night, etc. I dont' mind him sleeping over, but hope he realizes that I am *sick* and ... well we can kiss and mess around depending how I feel cause I'm not contagious, however if he touches my neck/lymph nodes I dare say I will scream cause of how tender they are. I dont know, he wanted to take me out to dinner and I'm thinking no ... to early for that .... I'm not to sure if I'll want to mess around, though slightly feel as if I'm inclined to because it's nearly expected now. I know it's not and he said he'd leave if I wanted him to, etc. He's very worried about me being sick, etc. etc. I'm slightly worried too cause I feel like ... I'm not getting better fast enough, though I expect to much maybe. Thinking a pill can magically cure me. I'm feeling tired, dizzy, nausea right now. I could lay my head on the keyboard and fall asleep. I wonder why I'm at work and I'm to the point I feel as if it's Friday, maybe cause WG is coming over. When all I want to do is go home and crash. And sleep and sleep. Another good thing on this sickness: no appetite. I'm very non-hungry. Non-thirsty. Nothing. I know this is bad, as you need food to feel better, but with nausea ... and feeling tired. Ugh. Okay pray I get better, mornings are bad and tomorrow is the last day on my pill and God knows what'll happen this weekend other than taking it easy. I was in a mood last night. Wanting to mess around, right now, very NOT in a mood. Just feeling pissy at Wg for no reason whatsoever, just cranky and just blah and maybe he's someone to take it out on. My frustrations of being sick ... to much this past month. I'll practice being nice tonight. I realized and prayed to God last night for my quick and speedy and fast recovery ... mainly because I wanted it for Wg cause he deserves this. Etc. And I repent for all my past sins and feel anymore that I'm back to how I used to be because I messed up and slept around and was so stupid. Now I'm sane again and feeling this is it and just waiting for my life to being with him. And waiting, is something I dislike and then telling him and asking when is what I hate. Whatever feelings he harbors for me, fear is one of them with how I demand and unsatisified...etc. Okay enough typing - can't concentrate, having issues spelling....ugh.....drugs. 8:24 a.m. - 2006-04-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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