sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this CRAPPY NEWS: So I go to turn in my apartment sheet saying I'm leaving. Saying I'll be out May 31st. I get a call saying that if I leave then, then I'll forfeit my deposit and have to pay rent until July 31st. But ... I stammered ... I asked and they said all I needed was a 30 day notice.... To my dismay, they seemed to have been "confused" ... and thought my lease was up. I said, "But I asked three times if I had to give a longer notice and never said my lease was up..." So now, I have to stay until July. I know it's not horrible...and thank GOD that's when my lease is up, but ... I'm *very* frustrated by the WHOLE THING. I told Wg and he was bummed too. I told him I'd move in with him - Mid-July. So he was like....well then two months...okay we can slowly move you over and fix up the house, etc. Still I'm upset about it, all gun-ho to go ...now finding I have another 30 day wait! I also made my appointment for my pap smear. Oh dread. The nurse said "how about Thursday" and I nearly fell off my chair. I said, how about June? :) So June 22nd - in the AM - I'll go and get scrapped and touched and made to feel like a fat ass for the second time. I asked ... how long it takes. She said 15 to 30 mins (they have to talk to you, then they do the test). Ugh. I pray to GOD ... well at the time ... that ... it doesn't hurt like last time. Good GOD that hurt. I lay there feeling like...I was about to say "STOP, JUST STOP" ... but in truth, the whole thing takes about ... 3 minutes. The scrape at least does. Then that lovely finger in your coo - and stomach pressing. I'm figuring I've gotten MORE stretched since the last time (have 4 more partners now) ... and now that I'm having sex a lot ... I know I'm ... yeah .... no longer in virgin-like status below. Gross to say, when WG sticks his fingers in me, I'm not reeling in pain. The only thing that hurts is when she cranks that fucking spectulum open. Just being OPENED down there, that just hurts. Argh. But I suppose it's a small price to pay for well-being and fertility and for birth control. I suspect I ought to get used to people poking around my coo if I'm planning on having children. Ugh, just hard to be OK with some one touching your boobs then sticking things in you and shit. But I guess she's seen it all, and probably everyone is the same, and all that shit. It kind of is like when you get blood drawn. It only takes a minute - and yet it feels like ... it's been 5 by the time they finish. I won't psyche myself out. I feel better that I have been active and maybe it wont' hurt this time. Okay enough talk about that. I'm very pms- this week. I am stopping my antibotics - just shy of a day. I know...you ought to take the WHOLE bottle. But I figure....what is ONE DAY? I mean if my wellness hinges on ONE DAY of pills, then ... there is something wrong. All I know is I am SO TIRED of feeling tired all the time, feeling dizzy and let me say DOG TIRED after I take them. It's just getting horrible to live like this. 3:58 p.m. - 2006-04-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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