sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- easy I'm not trying to tear your teeth out says my dentist. Well actually it's like a robot talking to me, with his blue mouth cover, it's just a pair of blue eyes telling me. Maybe it's telepathy. But with my mouth open, I hum out, "itsss, oak-kay." No cavaties. Yay. And 8 years without a cleaning, my dentist says I have remarkable teeth. But the calcium deposits behind my teeth are killer as he's scraping, and hitting my gums and I realized this procedure is more painful than my pap smear. The dentist tells me that in our 20's the calcium deposits start. Somehow when you're a kid you don't get them because of your saliva. Needless information. Regardless with a clean bill of dental health, I was in da chair for about 20 minutes of my dentist reminscing about his old dental days. In that, he nicked my gums and made me want to say, pay attention buddy - cause that hooked pick thing hurt. My pap smear went okay too, if anyone was wondering and waiting for this update. I doubt it. But I went in at 11:00 for my 11:15 appointment. Waited an HOUR and finally sat on an examining table half way naked. This time they said, keep your shirt on, just un-do your bra. So I sat on the exam table for 10 minutes. Listening and waiting for the good doctor to come in. Trying not to freak out, I breathed and stretched to combat my nervousness. The doctor came in, I think she realized I was the baby from last year who gave up a fight with my first exam. She lay be back and began the breast exam. Then onto stirrups ... onto wiggling down to the bottom of the table ... and going spread eagle, and suddenly my doctor realized she didn't have the right spectulum for me. Turns out I have a very long hole. I inheritated this from my mom, and in this, I got to have a longer spectulum. Going in, it did feel uncomfortable. But I started counting the ceiling tiles really fast. I felt her say, "Jennifer am I hurting you?" I said, no you're fine. She shoved it in farther and she asked, "Jennifer are you sexually active?" I muttered, "yes." She did the pap, the swab didn't hurt, the scraping or whatever the fuck she did, hurt ... and felt as if someone scratched me inside. Like when you scrape your knee. What hurt was the finger in me and pressing down in my stomach. It lasted only a few seconds, maybe a minute. But ow. After this - 15 mins - I was set free. Given two boxes of birth control and a $35 off coupon (which expired! fuck!) Still I was happy to have two months "free" birth control and a prescription for a 12 month supply! That means I have ... I could stock pile birth control if I wished. I could try that - what I've always wanted to - that thing where you skip your placebo week and go straight back on the pill!!!! Yeah, I know. Stupid things, excite me. Not that I really neccesarily need to stop my period for no good reason. (Okay like wedding shit, like I could see.) Oh well. Me and Wg are doing good still. Working on his house and doing "couple" things. It's like we're already married. I feel like no longer are we dating, but we're something else. More? We're going to look at rings again. I told him the other day, I can't wait to say that he's my "fiancee' " ... and be one of those annoying girls who flaunt their engagment ... My fiancee' is going to pick me up at the store. We planned a lil of our wedding, just small things, and decided to go to Disszney world for our honeymoon! He's never been there and I think it'd be fun! So we're both excited as hell about that. Fuck the wedding, let's go to Dizzney World!!! We decided our wedding will be themed a "fall" wedding. With leaves, apples, pumpkins, gourds, acorns, etc. etc. Spicey orange, browns, and deep reds. That type of thing. We decided our favors would be taffy apples or a box of pistaciou nuts. I would rather do the nuts as it's cheaper. But we'll price it out. He wanted to MAKE the apples. I said NO WAY. So we're still deciding on what to do exactly. But we're not going to stress until we *are* engaged. Ya know? That's in December. That's 7 months away. One thing for sure, I'm counting the days to move in. Seriously. I am so low on cash, I have, believe it or not, $25 dollars in my savings. That is horrible. I know. And this is due to bills upon bills. A medical bill right now is glaring at me from my computer desk asking me to pay it. My phone bill is also hissing that I need to pay it. So I get paid on Thursday or Friday. Where my "raise" will be in effect. Will I notice? Probably not. Or see an extra dime on there. Oh well sour grapes I know. I do know when I move in, we're going to still save up money. I mean save, save, save. The money to go to Florida and plan for a wedding. Yikes. I'm going to clear my credit card for all of this. That's my goal too - pay off visa. Then save. At least there, I feel like I can actually save. Things I will probably still buy are clothes here and there for him as his wardrobe is still pretty bad. Only one pair of jeans he really likes...so he wears em' all the f'ing time. Washed out t-shirts. Oh man. His birthday is coming up, more clothes I shall buy that boy. Maybe something else, not sure what just yet. My birthday is coming up soon too. Less than a month. Oh well, I'm tired tonight, very tired ... went to bed at 2 or 2:30 a.m. This was due to me going to bed at 1 a.m. and he came to bed around 1:30 and woke me up. So he said, well let me kiss you goodnight. So I kissed him and suddenly it snowballed. I dont' know where it came from, but entire a passionate/lustful 30 minutes. I'd never wanted him so bad. It was fucked up. But damn, it was good. Realllllllly good. Anyway, it's getting me scared to see all this MONEY for a wedding. Dress, and food, DJ and photographers and cakes and so much SHIT to do and plan. I want a wedding, for 50 people. That's all, just to keep costs down. And my dress. I am looking seriously at the one on the net, granted it's $500 bucks, but still I like it a lot. My shoes for that day, well they will be probably slippers as I cannot wear heels as then I'd be to tall. Ugh. I just...wow....the cost of it all, I just do not want to over do it, over spend. And yet, I know I will. I just want it very simple. No thrills, fluff. Nothing like that. Just quick and easy.
2:48 p.m. - 2006-05-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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