sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- to anyone I'm laying low for today. I got in a fight with my sister last night for no reason. She called and was shitty to me - she said she got me a dryer and that I needed to be there Saturday. I said I couldn't cause I have an appointment to get the hall, so she got bitchy and hung up. I called her back and said if it's going to be like this, then I dont' want it. I was cry by then (mixture of PMS and stress) and WG/fiance is pissed off and upset too. I called my mom and she's all like "well what you called me to call her?" I was like NO I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN. So it wasn't a good night. I cried for a while cause I was so upset - having a bad day at work, planning the wedding, having money problems, etc. etc. then having my sister get pissed for no reason at all. I wasn't rude to her on the phone, yet she said I had an "attitude." She called me with an attitude and then said I had one? So I went to the movies afterwards with WG/fiance and we saw "Cars" ... it was okay, cute. During it, my cell rang and my sister left a message of, "You had an attitude and that's a lot of money for us and mom said just to cancel it, but I'm not and if you need someone to stay there, then we can stay...." So I have to call now and I really don't feel like it. I don't want to talk to my sister nor my Mom. I love how my sister takes it all out on me ... and then my mom makes it to be my fault somehow and acting like I was calling her to "clean it up" when I told her I was just calling her to listen to me. So I'm basically upset with my family. I love how everyone thinks I should drop everything and then I should listen to everyone on how to do my wedding etc. etc. I'm just tired of it. So I'm laying low and will call my sister maybe tomorrow or leave her a phone message today - but I don't know what to say, other than I didn't have an attitude, you did. You called with an attitude before the conversation even began.... Actually I just don't want to deal with it right now. My boss seems pissed off at me. I did her job yesterday and that entailed a lot of shit that went wrong. I had to jump the paper, etc. etc. And I *really* do not know what the fuck I'm doing as I do this job maybe once every ... 6 months??? So she's all weriod and pissy and yell-y cause I didn't for instance update a color sheet in the press room (didn't think I had to) ... and I wanted to say, SORRY I don't do this job all the time, I barely know what the FUCK I'm doing. So alas she's taking another 1/2 day ... and having me layout the hardest paper --- Sunday. I do not understand this paper and know that I'm bound to fuck something up. Regardless, I just want to be left alone right now. I mean just leave me the fuck alone people. I'm tired of always being the bad guy, it's always me with an attitude, never my sister. No "I'm sorry" from her when she knows that she was being a bitch to me. I asked WG/fiance if I was bitchy (he was there the whole time) and he said ... no you weren't. He said if I was he wouldn't told me. It just bothers me a lot when this shit happens. Not to mention PMS where I just feel on edge right now - thanks hormones - and crampy and headachy and backachy and just wanting to lay down and cry cause I'm tired of all this bull shit in my life. I'm very very bloated too......... It's just a bad week. I interview on Friday for that HR job that I know I won't get. Everyone says to be optimistic, however they always seem to fuck me over. And already the interviewer saying she needs someone who can take off running ... as if to say that I cannot. She was surprised that I did so well on the HR test ... maybe that pissed her off .... Regardless I do want a job change, but actually finding something ... is what's hard. I want it around here, but don't want to get paid shit.... I really would like to get in HR, that's where the monay is, I hear. But I suspect that would entail me going back to college, however the paper might pick up the fees if it's for the good of them? Regardless ... I don't want to think about anything today. I'm going to just ... do whatever. Not talk to anyone. ***Wedding Update*** Favor: taffy apples All we need is invitations/program, flowers, centerpiece (we have ideas), I need my dress/his tux/bridesmaids ... and .... a minister (we're starting church in July). How come this feels like it's coming together really fast though it's more than a year away? A year and three months away? Yikes. 9:26 a.m. - 2006-06-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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