sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- change city You know, when I finally have a hold on my whole no monay thing ..... I get "ahead" in a sense. However. Well something good happend from it ... the monay thing ... I mean fiance also is payin' too. But yeah, we're adopting a pup finally. We're picking it up Saturday - in Demotte, Indiana. A 8 week old beagle pup. $100 bucks for dog. $25 for "carrier" soon to be known as "crate" or "bed" or "den" to dog. Food and toys = $10-15. I'm excited about it, but kinda of scared a bit due to the fact that sometimes we're not home enough or now having this as another thing to worry about in my already hectic life. Still we're both excited. I mean it's a nice change I guess? A lil puppy to come home to and take on walks, maybe help me lose some weight? Oh we're naming it "Tucker." My sister thinks it's a snobby name, but I like it. Better than the "Roscoe" that my guy wanted to name it. - No NO no! Regardless, we took $150 from our account and figure that ought to be enough to get us "started." I'm going to make my "world famous" sock toys that I once made for my other dog - Toad, who really adored em cause I'd stuff a crinkly bag in it and he'd roll on it and shake the shit out of it. He still adores them when I make them (not all that often as he lives in Michigan with my parents.) Regardless, it's been another odd week. I started it off thinking that I just might be knocked up because my period started very very late. But it came and it's very very light still. Poor fiance ... has faced the brunt of my odd hormonal fluctuations ... and me suddenly feeling not very sexual because of it all. I'm sort of disturbed that our sex has slowed down. I know it's cuz we're stressed/tired ... but anymore I just don't have the energy to even begin to fuck around. I want quickies now I guess? I guess I'm sort of tired of making out for like ... ever ... Not that I do not adore him, but sometimes, it's like ... come on. I don't know. I'm still messed up ... I guess because one moment I'm like god I don't want to even be touched ... then I'm like fuck I'm horny. I don't get it. I chalk it up to hormonal issues. Lately I've been effected by my pills pretty bad. Don't know why, but am getting really kind of annoyed by this? Regardless, I'm waiting to leave work. I got in at 9 and took a very long lunch and then I'm done at like 4:30. I mean I could work part time because I'm just done....so it's hard to wait until 5:30 when it's only 5:07. Anyway, I was yet again shafted in a job where I work. Note I'm very much able to do these jobs, but "friends" and "clicks" get in and people who've been here 100 years get it. I'm used to it. The woman at work who was "helping" me wasn't and she got very upset for me. And then I got upset cause she got upset. It was an upsetting day yesterday. I felt like I could just cry and cry. I'm needy this week now ... because I'm missing my fiance a lot ... for some reason. Obsessive Jen. I also cannot seem to lose weight. I made appointments for hair/nails for the engagment pics that I'll be in - in October. I wanted to trim down for that. Looking at my calendar September won't have time for me to go to gym as I fill in for my boss - ala draining days - only one week to go to gym. I guess I'l cut back until then? Not sure. Am contemplating dextrim for real. Regardless, lord time is going by slow and I'm bored and not feeling like doing much of anything. Let alone, when I go home I have to dust mop, vaccume, dust and wash the kitchen/bathroom floors and THEN clean bathroom. WTF. I swear, I adore my boy but he does not clean! I mean he's old sckool or something. I have to ask him to clean things. Though he does do dishes and take out trash, maybe he thinks that's "helping." He also has *never* washed clothes for like months and months. Since he began living with me, I've always washed. I guess that's my "role" as a female. But that's bull shit! I know that's how it is at my sisters too and with my mom and dad at first too. I dont' know. Right now I hardly feel like going home and cleaning. But I think with a new puppy coming into the house, all the smells of CAT should be removed somehow. Oh well, maybe I can sneak out. My boss is busy and I'm hoping doesn't care what I do as long as the job is done. Oh, and the prospects of my ex working here again, seems to be evident. I heard from this girl today all these people who were going to go for this job here, backed out. As if making room for him. So I zoomed home and put in a resume for my fiance - I figure this mother fucker isn't going to just walk into a job here. My fiance didn't apply at first as he thought all these people went and they'd get it, but alas they didn't and now, at least he'll be something to reckon with. I will hate to see ex everyday and have him fuck with me or do whatever or flaunt his fiance or whatever to me. Granted I have a nice chunk of diamond on my finger and a fantastic fiance to toss back, and oh yeah my youth and me able to bear children ... verses his old fucking 40 something ass and his old ass fiance with her tubes tided and yet "talk" of untying to wield a spawn of him and her. And boy, that child, God help it, will be ugly, cause fuck me he's ugly - he's the ugliest man I've ever seen.....seriously - when I first saw him when I first began working here ... I thought, damn that man is fucking ugly. Now it's his inside too that makes him so damn ugly. Yuck. Demon. Regardless .... I wish I could get a new job too, something else, but anymore that's just a fucking laugh. I mean when I hope there is movement here, the wrong type happens and now the issue of my ex here again, doesn't bother me ... just annoys me slightly. But I'll ignore and do whatever, it really doesn't bother me. I realize I'm over him and it only annoys me because fiance gets worried he'll bother me or hit on me or something. I told fiance not to worry, that boy will never get anywhere with me and that I so am in love with my fiance that I can't even THINK of looking at other men. Oh well. Change is happening a lot lately. All the time, but right now, it's just change city. 4:56 p.m. - 2006-08-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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