sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the most I'm still disturbed that my ex will be coming back to work at the company I'm at. Really, I am over him, I pretty much hate him (still) and not because of what he did, but what type of person he was to me .... It just fucking sucks to have to see that ugly mug every day now. I don't know when he starts, but I'm the ring leader of some employees who were past up for the job - this job was never posted in the paper nor on the internet, this man hired externally, it just isn't fair. Regardless, I'm going to apply yet again to the college where I used to go - for a secretary job. It's a pay cut, but .... not by much. By like a dollar I think. So that's like $8 a day less I make, or $32 less a week ... or I dunno. I'm over qualified so that means they won't even call me, but I guess I can try. I saw on careerbuilder and monster that my resumes are so outdated. I'm not feeling it enough to redo them all, I barely have time to check email when I'm home let alone update my resume for jobs that I probably wouldn't take anyway. Regardless ... I am tired of my job in a lot of ways. I like the people here, hate to leave, but if I can, I think I will. I guess a change is in order, and hell if I do go, that ought to cut down my wedding invite list. Ha ha! No more this person and that.... cut cut cut. Which I don't mind, mind, mind - I call is savin' monay. But it's just a dream, because I can't see myself leaving here anytime soon. Maybe I can demand more money when I go to turn in my notice, give me $30 and then we'll talk. Doubt it. Anyway I've got a headache, this crazy weather is killer. I could sleep all day today if I had my way. To many, way to many stupid people to deal with. I looked on the internet today, I googled myself, my name and there were so many accomplished Jennifers out there. I just felt sort of failure-ish. Thinking I once had a cool job, now I'm just a shitty paginator that means nothing to no one. I want to go back to florida, back on the ship, something. But now I have a fiancee in tow. And the only way to get moving is to find him a job, and then move onto myself it seems. Seems unlikely, to hard and just stressful. I don't know, I guess I'm tired of being broke all the time, working my fingers off and being stressed nearly all the time. I think I just want a job where I go and when it's 5, it's time to go ... no working after because some ass forgot to file something, no, when it's time to go, I pack up and leave. No stress, just go. Anyway, I figure I ought to go back to college if I do work at a college. Get a masters degree or something so ... that ... it'll mean even more nothingness to everything I do. Ugh. I'm tired and right now need to just lay down, but I can't and just have to keep going. I thought today the loveliness of getting sick and the rest you receive in the name of getting better. When thoughts like that pop into my head, usually I do get sick and it comes true. Not sure how the puppy would like that idea. He's getting to be very annoying with not listening. He's also nippy a lot and I'm getting tired of getting nipped - last night he nipped TO hard and I grabbed him, he got scared of me and kept looking at me as if I was about to attack. I stared at him and said "NO" and he laid down. Today the same, nipping TO hard and again I had to use force (not hard/mean) to get him to calm down. Then he was like okay sorry and played in his bed a little bit. Fiancee doesn't like to do these things, and I think you have to get respect and for him to listen. I always say, if there are no consequences, then there is no will for someone to do good. If puppy knows he'll get in "trouble" for nipping to hard, then he'll stop. Just like when he goes on the carpet, I grab him as soon as I see him and say NO loudly "GO OUTSIDE" and throw his butt outside. While fiancee waits until the dog is done and then is like "noooo" all kind and shit. I get so mad. Or he goes to the extreme of yelling at the dog all the fucking time. The dog runs across the room and he bellows "roscoe! roscoe! what are you doing, get over" then it's "honey, get the dog." It's annoying to say the least, we have good days and bad. I'm tired of waking up the howls or not sleeping in, etc. I can't wait until it grows up somemore. He's going to be 10 weeks on Sunday. Yay. He's already growing, each week we see something new. This week his muzzle has grown out. He's gotten bigger torso wise. Aw. I'll take a pic of him and post it when he turns 3 months old (yay again). They say at 4 months they start to "listen more" ... that also starts teething time and that means I'm going to wet down his food before he eats and try to give him rawhide to chew on ... he already tries to chew on carpets and my fucking basket from the 1800's ... I'm ready to put hot pepper on the edges on it and see what he does with that!! Me and fiancee bought some clothes off the net last night - all shirts. Old Gravy had a sale and he got some new t-shirts -- he needs them - and I got another cool tshirt and a nice kimono sleeved shirt. We didn't do to shabby on the prices, I think $80 in total for everything, he got three shirts, I got two. Mine both cost the most. 1:22 p.m. - 2006-08-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||