sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gross feeling Fuck I hate the stupid ass banners that are on here sometimes. Really stupid and tasteless. Some kiddie who thinks if they say something out there that they are going to get loads of hits on their diary. Me? I don't give a fuck. I used to have a banner, but I don't give a shit if I get one hit or 100 hits. Geez, people, personal glorification. Always. Today is exactly 10 months until the wedding - or so says my ticker on this page. Or 304 days until I'm wed. It sort of terrifies me, in a small way, that in four days alone, I'll be below the 300 day mark. Now at 299 days. Then suddenly it'll be 100 days, and then finally 30 days. I'm not scared to get married, I just want to make sure everything is done. So many things goes into wedding planning. And seems like you wait and put things off ... so long, or enough so that you're scuttling about last minute ... I do not want that. Which is why I'm slowly, yes slowly - due to funding - buying things that need to be boughten. Ala place cards and good paper, and I just bought my tiara and getting my veil and my bustier. I have a list of items I need. And fiance things I'm nuts sometimes because I sort of flip out as if the wedding is tomorrow. My tiara came on Monday and it's gorgeous. I paid little for it - about $40 and it's just so fucking cool. It's based off of a 1914 tiara. So it looks sort of vintage. My veil - I'm getting a lil longer than elbow length - will have "diamond" scattered on it and trimed in organza. This is if, ebay is kind to me and I win my bid. It's funny how ebay sells shit for cheap and bridal stores fuck you over with $300 veils and $400 tiara's. Fuck that. And yes! Bridal slippers! Oh my god! $60?! Give me a break. I'm getting mine off of amazon.com - for $20! They are leather on the bottom so when I go outside (that is, if it doesn't rain), that they won't get dirty. Besides who's going to even see my feet? No garter dance even. I'm not wearing nylons either - but I am tanning, so it doesn't matter. Regardless, I feel slightly better ... because my mom is sending the Christmas monay. This helps me out greatly, so much so. I mean I'm not out of the red, I figure by July I will be OKAY ... I mean not even that far, I just have visa and wedding bands and now - newly - flowers/invites that I'm starting to pay for. But flowers/bands are on "layaway" meaning no extra fee, and whenever I can pay. Visa, now, is nuts and something I want to get down asap! I'm hoping my mom sends $1,500 ... but I doubt it and am sure I'll get $1,000. I don't care, mind ... just as long as I can tackle my bills and feel RELIEVED that my engagement ring is paid for! That was a major .. utter major ... cost to us. I think it was $2,000 something for it entirely! I know it's my own fault for that ... I picked it afterall. Anyway, I am looking for my bridal jewelry. I'm going to look through my grandma's old jewelry and see what's there. I recall a pretty necklace I saw in there ... but cannot remember just where I saw it. I know the necklaces I've been looking at, are all so outrageously priced! Even for reproductions of victorian jewelry - it's still $100. I love the filligree look to jewelry mixed with diamonds. My engagement band has filigree on it and I love it. Oh well, that's just something to think on. I'll feel a lot better come January when I can sort of relax because I'm putting half of my Christmas money in savings. Fiance wants to start up a seperate account and put in there money that we cannot touch. I sort of agree and wish I could put away something, but I haven't ever been able to. I guess it's cause of Christmas and having to buy so much, so quick for a lot of people. My next check - already - is half way spent! Isn't that just amazing. I really get upset because I know my check we live off of ... and his goes to the bills, but still ... I get kind of pissy because I can't save anything. I guess our pay is OUR pay, not mind and his, I think I'm still used to living solo? Regardless, we're back on track with our love life. It was rough there lately and still working out issues - issues meaning physical on his part. I don't know if stress or what got to him, but he couldn't seem to perform well and even now still is having issues. I felt for a long time it was me, but he assured me it was not and he adores me so much, but the stress has got to him a lot with work changes. So I'm opting to help him and not say anything, but try to be OK with it ... which gets annoying and hard when you're ready to go. I just bought him some "toys" ... uh ... and hope they sort of get him ... feeling confident again? I don't know. Anyway, I'm going back to my aqua aerobics tonight. That class kicked my ass on Monday. It was a nice swim though. Tonight I'm going to try to swim some laps after class. Just hate feeling so jiggly in the water. You do the jumping up and down and boy you can feel the fat on you...just moving. Gross feeling. 10:56 a.m. - 2006-12-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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