sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- real Ah, The season is upon us. I mean how many more times can someone ask you, is your shopping done? Ready for Christmas? What did you get ___? Today I'm not feeling especially in the season. Over the weekend I had to take in my car, $267 later the rattling in my car and oil smell has stopped. A worn out this and a cracked that. Good news is, my engagement ring is now paid off. Amazing little thing. I'm still broke in a sense and still in a bad mood due to that fact. Mostly, I'm feeling overwhelmed and to busy anymore. Tonight is aqua aerobics and tomorrow is Target and a party and Friday is a rehearsal dinner and Saturday a wedding for a friend. Sunday is at fiance's parents and Monday Christmas and seeing my sister, Tuesday shopping for Christmas sales and then off to work. It's nuts anymore, my life. I mean running around and spending money. Loads and loads of the stuff. Not on stupid things, but on presents that pay off any guilt. Sometimes I'd rather just not receive anything so I don't feel any guilt on if I didn't get something equal to or better. It really isn't about giving, it's more about not feeling guilty. I know I've overspent again on presents and feel so has my fiance. I told him to not to buy me anything else and to just pay on some bill. He won't have it. So in a sense I'm just burnt out again and again. Today feeling like I need to kick start my weight loss yet again, but then not wanting to go exercise tonight. Tis the season. So I'm in a mood today I guess. We took down my antique bed and put up just a frame yesterday. We just couldn't deal with the whole getting on tippy toes to get on the bed. Sex ... on this old bed ... wow. Creaky and scary - thinking this bed is gonna collapse. So now, a metal frame - low to the ground so the dog can jump up, it's nice. Our bedroom looks a lot bigger and so far we both like it. So that was a present to us both! What is so damn sad is the money my parents gave me for Christmas is nearly spent. So annoying because it give me the feeling like I'll never get ahead. I know we both have been applying to jobs like mad. Me, I'm just looking to get out of what I do now. I feel stuck though. But I still try and try. I figure one of these days it'll hit. Like a rush of interviews - much like before - but this time I'll actually get one of them. We both talked to a guy who works in St. Louis - he used to work here in Indiana. So he said to send him our resumes and he knows he could get us something as they are starting up some new section of the paper. I don't know if he was lying or telling me the truth. But I sent out both resumes and now sort of feel odd. In a way, thinking, well hell if we did get a job and had to move, what a fucking mess. To have to find a house and then move all of our things, etc. etc. etc. I know we'd get rid of a lot of things - not that we have a lot of things, but a lot of things I have can get sold at a yard sale. Doubles and stuff like that. Two toasters and dishes and pans. It's hard sometimes when you move from an apartment to a house. There are bound to be doubles. Regardless, I was day dreaming of our wedding the other day and realized that I don't want to lose like 50 pounds, but even 10-15 would be do-able. And that I can do this, just give me some less holiday mess and I can go for it. Actually if I drank less pop I'm sure I'd drop a lot. That's just hard to do, I adore that stuff. Okay better to get back to work, the time goes by so fast anymore it's scary. As in, wow the wedding will come up so quick. I've learned to stop listening to people. I've changed in a way where I care less now. I know that sounds bad, but I just don't have time to dwell on stupid things anymore. Oh I also got my veil for the wedding. Slowly I'm getting these tiny things that are needed. I know I'll start kicking it up come....summer. It's odd to think, winter, spring, summer and then my fall. Everyone tells me it's going to fly by, and I know that it will. It's hard because I'm trying to be a bride. Trying to enjoy this time before I'm married. As how often does one get married? I guess it's time to pour over bridal books and stuff. Less a year people. Wow. 2007 is nearly here, and when that hits, it makes it all the more real. 10:35 a.m. - 2006-12-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||