sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yourself I never have time to update anymore. Argh, I have issues sometimes with being to busy. It blows. Fiance' sent me a dozen roses for Valentines Day. They are beautiful. Everyone at work is jealous. Muh ha ha hah! No, I don't care, it was sweet. We had a good time. Things are so crazy with planning so many things. My sisters baby shower is next weekend. This weekend I have to do a lot for it. UGH! When will this roller coaster be done? I got a card from the church asking where I've been. I dislike that, I feel like I HAVE TO GO because the preacher will back out if we don't. I just....sorry... don't like church? I mean ... I don't get involved because I don't have time, so I go and feel guilty that I don't get involved or give to the church because I can't afford it. I mean church = guilt? I mean please, who wants to go for that? Regardless, I guess I'll have to go now this week, or else I'll have to start looking for another preacher. I guess I should go at least twice a month. Considering I can't even get to the fucking gym, it'll be amazing. Things are so messed up right now, I've having a lot of issues with my birth control. It's making me having migraines and horrid mood swings, crying spells. I have three months on it - well until I see the gyn. Speaking of which, I learned an online friend got prego - right smack a week later after being married. News like that, you kind of go...ugh. I would just die if that happend to me. It's like ... was it a shot gun wedding? Fiance wanted me to get off of the pill before the wedding, but I said no. I want to wait a bit, just for the sake of it all. Especially if you haven't LIVED with the person, lord knows, a baby, a new marriage, fuck me. MONEY issues. Man! FUCK THAT! My plan is to get married, wait a few months, travel to some places I've been wanting to, THEN get off the pill.... THEN try to see if I can work part time, and raise the kid(s)..... I don't want someone else raising my own kids. Maybe I'm this way cause my mom was a stay at home mom. Granted I'll be a part time mom, but it's better than a work 8 hours, then see your kid for like 2 hours a day. No. Way. Regardless, kids really mess up your life. I mean it's a blessing, but at the same time, everything changes and you can't just DO things you used to like spur of the moment shit. And suddenly it's not about YOU anymore, but the baby. Baby baby baby. So tired of hearing about that, my sister knocked up, that's ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. Fuck I'm just trying to SURVIVE anymore. Granted I got my tax return back, and my mind is hissing....moneyyyy you got some extra moneyyyyyy. $1,176 is what I got in total w/ Federal and State. That shall. Go on my visa. Making ... me AHEAD with paying on this fucking wedding! YAY. So fucking yayayayayay! So I'm very happy about that, and my pay raise helps too, and the fact they fucked up on my last check - I will ahve $300 extra on my next pay check! So blamo..... Good times for now. Just feeling, kind of overwhelmed at work, and this pill. It's just making me very nutty and edgy and off the wall. Poor fiance, I love him so, but sometimes I treat him like shit and he says, "you haven't been yourself." 7:16 p.m. - 2007-02-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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