sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sometimes. Overload. Yet again. Argh. Things are better than last time. I did go to the doctor and she said I was better, however not 100%. So she put me on another pill, which I quit after one dose! I said fuck this, I'd rather be anxious/stressed than be fucked up in the head with brain zaps and nuttiness! Anyway, I'm printing out my bridal shower invites - ugh. I have about 30 people invited right now. I'm tired from today. So many things to do, parents, sister calling and asking about this and that. I have to call and book the limo. I have to lose weight. I feel horrid. I tried on my sisters old girdle and it didn't fit. My hips are to big. So I put on my old girdle, and it was a bear to get on, but it fit and I'm going to wear it on my wedding day cause A. it's comfortable and B. I just can't wear a corset. I felt bad cuz I've been busting my ass at the gym. Lost some weight and yet when I try this stuff on, it's like I didn't lose a thing! I fumed to fiance' who so lovingly helped stuff my fat into the lyrca - I told him I want to lose 10 lbs before the wedding! I felt so fat. Ugh. I did exercise today, however then had Burger King for dinner and a piece of cheesecake. For lunch I had bread and tortillini. So yeah, eating, lately has sucked. I'm pretty frustrated right now. Also work has been okay, sorta nutty. I'm just angry anymore. I don't know. I think it's stress and money stress, wedding stress. I dont know how I cope sometimes. The doctor also said that I might have carpel tunnel. She wanted me to get some test and I refused. I know it hurts. So I'm going to baby my wrist, but it hurts a lot now. It's just pissed off. So in a bundle. I'm still nuts. But I'm happy that wedding is only 3 months away. Just to stop all this planning! That'd be very nice. Just to relax, just for a while. A quiet Christmas. Something. A short breather. I don't know, right now I could cry. O' why can't I just fucking lose the weight I want to? I just feel like a big fat failure sometimes. 10:19 p.m. - 2007-07-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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