sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hate it. Ugh. I have a nasty migraine headache. Fiance' and I both woke up with headaches. We didn't go to bed last night until 1 a.m. Maybe that's why or else the continual rain/hot weather/ to much a/c. My neck hurts something terrible, my eyes are fuzzy, I could scream. I've been worrying about the wedding a lot lately. So many things to do. At the end of it all, is when you do the most. I have to do the programs, seating cards ... I still have to send out invites. I'm not going to exercise today, feeling bad about just writing that already. I keep thinking if I have to A. work out in a 100 degree room (little a/c) and B. listen to loud music and C. move around/jump around/get on floor. I think I'll pass today and go tomorrow (maybe) to a class, and then go Wednesday too. Ugh. At work I'm attempting to get transfered to the office where fiance' works. I wish I could, though part of me hates that I'll have to change my exercise schedule to mornings now ... and Saturdays still. We plan to move after we're married (if our house sells ... since the house market is so very very bad) ... well we are moving to where he works now. So me getting into that office is what I SHOULD DO. I guess the whole "change" thing still gets my goat. Regardless, I got my first doctors bill of two. It was $57 ... for nothing. So that $50 from my shower gift (pre-gift) will go to that. Sucks. My bridal shower is this Saturday. I also feel slightly blah about it. Mostly because I dislike being center of attention. That scares me. Plus on my registry, there is hardly any gifts boughten. I feel very odd to say this, and I'm hoping people just didn't get it "scanned" in to be taken off. if it's true then I'll be getting a lot of gift cards and checks. Not that checks are soo very bad. I've been cashing them and stowing away this cash for when I have to pay off the limo, his tux or dress alterations. Kind of like the emergency fund for the wedding. The "oh shit" fund. I guess having 2 months until the "day" is what is stressing me out. No longer do I have the luxury of saying I have time. Now it's like, better to buy now because I have NO time. Regardless. I bought ... yes ... fake hair. The kind people sew or glue into their own hair. I got it for my wedding hair do. I had to go into a "black store" not that I'm saying this rasistically ... but it's for a store where black men/women buy hair. If I were black, I would too, buy hair and wigs. They have such cool things ... I mean if you're into getting fake hair. I also bought some "clips" to transfer my "hair" into a clip so I can just clip it in. It's kind of cool ... I'm contemplating ... wearing these ... sometimes. Erm or maybe not. :) I did buy human hair and it does look kind of neat as it matches my hair -- kind of. I kept the receipt and will show my hair stylist on Saturday to see if that's what she needed. It was fucking $40 just for this hair! WTF? Regardless ... things are still pretty crazy and I can't seem to not let it get me down. I just feel ... in a word ... overwhelmed with it all. I'm tired of trying hard to lose weight. Tired of money issues. Tried of planning. Tried of pleasing everyone. I just want to get this all overwith. I already feel center of attention. All the time ... I'm in the spotlight. I hate it. 3:07 p.m. - 2007-08-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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