sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- doxie I just watched on YouTube about PCOS. I watched a story from Discovery about a girl who had it and wasn't diagnosed. Then I watched about a girl who was talking about it, 19 and ready to tear up about it. I am trying to figure out if I have it. I was tested and told that I didn't have it. Granted I had an ultrasound and blood tests and told "no". Then, I talked to another dr and she said, "even with those clear, you COULD have it." What the fuck. Anyway, I'm seeing a new gyn in April. What got me thinking on this, is I am getting off the pill in February. Not to get pregnant, but because the pill is making me crazy and I just need a break. If I should happen to get pregnant during that time, then ... okay. If not, then.... ok? I look up PCOS as I've always had irregular periods. When I say this, it doesn't mean that I DON'T get my period, but that ... I'll get it .. oddly. Like prior I remember having it a month - but having it for like 3 weeks! Then not having it for 6 weeks. Then having it a few days, etc. I NEVER have not had it .. I mean ... I think I skipped 2 months before, but never have I been completely without it. The videos I watched - the girls hadn't had there periods in like years or months on end. That's just crazy. I also don't have the hair growth or skin tags or darkened skin. My hair is fine/thin and curly (hereditary) ... but doesn't exactly fall out/bald. I like to think that I will be okay, but part of me gets to thinking about things like this. I also have a very hard time losing weight. I know understand that. I am going to get my thyroid checked - in January. I also am going to talk to my doctor ABOUT PCOS and that I am getting off the pill. See I say DOCTOR not gyn. I hate my gyn. She's a bitch who I've heard and witness all to many stories. To much bullshit of telling me that I am Fine but need to lose weight (which she says will regulate my periods) ... and then her daughter (gyn there too) telling me that maybe I DO have pcos. I SHOULD've asked her mom about it and said that's good doctoring when you say one thing and your daughter is telling me something ELSE. So I am seeing a NEW doctor. Who I hear good things on. And it was HARD to get an appointment .... Regardless, I am worried about A. getting off the pill and bad periods back. And B. semi-worried about getting prego fast. It's a flip side with me. On one hand I worry about not being able to conceive, on the other I Feel like I will conceive all to fast. All I know is I am very happy to get off of these fucking pills. I feel there effects very badly - I know stress mixed in ... does this to me. the GOOD NEWS: I might be going back to my old job - but different - a girl is leaving in that area and wants to reformate the department. She asked if I would consider coming back but to do more production - as I'd talked to her about it before and how I hated leaving there/ mistake! So tomorrow I think she's going to propose me doing this. I think it'll be a GO because the guy they have doing it now, it's a complete MORON. I'll have a lot more responsiblities. But less stress! Ah! My old boss, who ROCKED! A quiet office space, less bullshit! I'm excited about the whole thing. I also applied for a job near where hubby works - that too would be the cats meow. It's in marketing,but they want graphic skillz and a degree in what I have --- journalism! So maybe that might call too. So things are looking up, I'm excited about being able to move back to my old job -- not a step down --- just a step in a different direction. I WILL miss designing - being a graphic designer - I liked, but hate my boss/management and WAY to much bullshit. I refuse to ever work under my current boss again. The only way I'll become a graphic artist again, is if I get to move out to the office where my hubby is. I know I was eyed very close last time for a job there, and was nearly told I'd get the next, but for now, I need to think about ME and MY stress. If I get pregnant, I really can't do my job now, I'm stressed 24/7. I have overtime already this week and can't take it off - I work over and still can't get caught up. That's a problem and lately I've been crying at my desk - my boss doesn't care - and gives me more work. And no this isn't a sob story, but reality. So I'm happy about these prospects and am feeling nervous about heading to the doctor - I dont' mind seeing her but dislike the possibility of blood tests - which I find annoying because I bruise up so badly. Anyway, the dog is acting so bad right now, I'm tired of it already. I mean we spank him when he's bad and HE STILL DOESN'T GET IT. We tried not spanking and saying "no" and that does nothing. NOTHING WORKS - that is unless I get in a rampage mode and just beat his ass like it's nothing...THEN he stops and settles down. But why does it have to come to that?? Seriously? HE KNOWS that he'll get his ass beat when he wont' listen ... yet he continues being bad and doesn't listen until it's to late. It's like I have a 2 year old. I'm really tired of it though, I'm seriously thinking about locking him up when he's bad ... something. I'm really tired of every 5 minutes I'm in the office here, hubby YELLING at the dog. I kid you not. It's annoying to hear ... "hey!" "Stop" "Get over here" etc. etc. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. There he goes again .... "no" See my mode is *Smack* STOP IT. And that lasts more than just words. See, my dog is an asshole. People laugh when I say that but it's true. I WILL NEVER get another beagle in my life. Fuck this breed they are to crazy and don't listen. My doxies ... now that's a dog, NEVER like this. I miss my doxie. 8:24 p.m. - 2007-12-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||