sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- do this ... Ah. It's been one heck of a week. With work and being broke, it's been stressful. I got to pay some medical bills off. It's always interesting to open up these bills, it's funny - the medical industry - you have to pay a bill for, say, $1,000. However you really don't know WHY or what part of your operation that covers. It's not like they say, "You'll have to pay this amount at the end...." No it's a gamble, a guess. I think I have to pay around $2,500 in bills. This is doctor bills and surgeon bills and anesthesiologist bill and bills for the medicine they used and the operating room help and bills for xray and ultra sounds. I think I've seen a bill, in passing, for having ONE shot of anti-nausea meds. Anyway, I paid a bit on my $1,083 surgery bill, then paid off another one for something, and started payment on two others. It feels like I have no insurance! When in fact, I chose the BEST insurance because I thought I'd be getting pregnant. So I guess I am thankful for the government sending us that lovely $600. I am taking the $1,200 and paying off my medical bills. The $360 I received from my taxes, I put on my new couches. My visa is my other contender, but it's slowly going down ... I cannot complain I guess! The house work is going slowly too. We want to put it up, but there are so many things to do anymore. Paint or fix or whatever. I figure if we paint the outside windows, and I paint the kitchen, we paint the basement floor and put base board in the other room it'll be ready to show. NOT that this economy is helping with this housing market...which is why I'm not really going to fix everything before I show.... Uh, I also am feeling at odds. I... should've gotten my period a week ago - if I was on my 28 day cycle. I didn't. Then I figure I have a 33 day cycle as my period came late last month too. So it should've came TODAY. Nothing. Just cramps, varied, and fatigue/grouchy. I'm slightly wondering if the sex on the 22nd, might've been when I was ovulating. So I'm slightly wondering if my first time trying for a child ... actually ... did the trick?? I'm very doubtful, but reading pregnancy symptoms and what I have now, they are very alike. I feel VERY bloated and I've been cramping the last two weeks. However my boobs don't hurt and I'm not spotting. I'm ... thinking about taking a pregnancy test tomorrow morning. Part of me wants to, just in case. The other part knows I probably am not and am just overreacting ... and the disappointment of a test showing negative ... will suck. But... AH! I don't want to waste tests -- I bought a 2 pack -- without my husband knowing. I figure I'll keep the tests a secret, so I don't get his hopes up. OR I can wait a few more days, and SEE what happens. Argh! I can see why this drives people nuts, the let downs, etc. Everything is a possibility when it comes to trying to conceive. So many what if's and maybe's!!! So much let downs and ... hopes. I really, hope and pray I'm okay to do this..... 8:42 p.m. - 2008-04-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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