sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- out of my hands Just a mini update. I was supposed to be looking on the net for a pie recipe. I promised hubby to bake him an apple pie. It's funny, as on my table are printouts, papers with my scrawly handwritting and two books about Low Gi dieting. And me - looking for a pie recipe - just is very odd. Regardless, after reading my diet books, I've come to realize that I kind of already eat Low GI. The only things that I'd need to change are: instant rice and oatmeal and eating potatoes and of course, sugar. I hate to say this, but I'm completely and utterly obsessed about getting pregnant. I guess it's the pressures from people at work, friends, relatives, and myself. I also know I defeat myself with my thoughts of "it's not gonna happen," and the whole PCOS/no periods thing. I don't want to be counted among those with PCoS. Why? Because then the 'I' Word comes into place: Infertility. The prenatal vitamins I'm taking - I really like. Pricey - yes - but how I feel lately is pretty good. They have a stool softener in each pill, so I'm regular again. ;) I also am taking Vitex or Chasteberry. It's to help those with PCOS regular there periods --- and balance your horones. So far, it's been okay. I spotted a bit last week (thought I was prego for a second) and then today I started spotting once again. I did just up the doseage of them - I take 1200 mg a day. The bottle says to do 800 mgs, however I know that I can go up a bit - from my internet readings. So I'm left to wonder what's going on in my body? My lil' period - is a good sign. It's so odd to get overjoyed to see the color red. It's so very hard when you have a doctor tell you, "well we don't know what's going on, you might be ovulating only half the time...." And tell you if you're not pregnant in 6 months to come back for a round of testing, and put on some fertility meds. So I'm desperately and very obsessively and yet secretively trying to get prego. Poor and yet lucky hubby will have to do the every-other-day routine in about a week. This will mark my second month TRYING FOR REAL - for a baby. I also started charting my temperatures again (bbt) and I have ovulation predictor test strips - which I'll be DAMNED if I know when to use them. I mean does spotting equate to your period? Can I "count" this as my first day? I currently have cramps. I'm researching on the net yet again for answers, but nothing ever seems to give me the answers I seek. I figure this ought to die down ... then hopefully I'll get pregnant. So very hard, I mean trying to do this, I didn't think, would be this hard. I Know this is only month 2, but ... I guess I am a perfectionist and controlling and this...really...is out of my hands. 9:01 p.m. - 2008-04-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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