sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tomorrow is a new day It was a crabby day. I didn't sleep all that well. I woke up at 1:30 to my dog whining in the kitchen. I got up and angrily let him out (I had really been sleeping GOOD) ... he went outside and whined around, came back in and I put him to bed. I went to bed, to again here the little wimpering. It lasted only 5-10 mins. It's all because of me. I let him sleep in our bed a week ago, since then, he'll whine a lot when he's put to bed. *So annoying* and lesson learned. No more dogs in the bed with us. He's a 1 yr old beagle btw. Anyway, so I woke up at 7:04, took my bbt and tried to sleep ... I lay there thinking and tossing and turning until 8 when I got up and got hubby up. Then we ran to the grocery store, and then I went to get my nails done and then movies and trips to Marshall's and Hallmark and Bath and Body. The whole time in my new Target clearence shoes, which had give me blisters. It was a blah day, the workers didn't start fixing the outside gables of our house, I was angry about it all day, but okay when I got home to a waiting message of some excuse about siding. I also talked w/ my nail tech - the guru of all things infertial. She knows a lot about getting pregnant simply because she cannot. It's a comfort to be able to talk to those who UNDERSTAND the whole plight of getting pregnant and possibily having issues. I'm still in the - maybe I do have issues/maybe I don't have issues. So many ... things. So many this and that's and what if's. It's very stressful. My guru told me, that she's changed her thinking on getting pregnant. She said she was "crazy" before about me. Much like how I feel about it. Now she feels more... calm and straight minded. I asked her HOW ... and she said she doesn't have the answer, that ... it just comes to be. I think I'm slowly getting into the ... calm stages. I know I talk a lot about it, and research it, I do have my ups and downs about it. But if anything, I do feel a bit more ... or less obsessive about it. Anyway, she was right in saying that the men/hubbies are not to know everything. Why? Simply because, as she puts it, that can't handle it. We figure that we as women know a lot about our bodies and the issues with pregnancy and fertility and periods and uterus and the whole female system. Men cannot seem to comphrend why we get excited with a regular period or upset when it's late. I'm sure that my hubby doesn't understand just how it all works. Explaining this, would be overwhelming and he too, would probably be nuts like, researching and striving for some answer to some question that we seek, but really, truthfully can't really say EXACTLY what we're looking for. I guess this post makes sense to those who have or are trying for a child. When I wasn't trying, I could care less. My sister, for instance, I really remember her sort of "stressing" about not yet being pregnant and wondering if something was wrong. I told her about the ovulation calculator and she then got prego that month or the month after. Still, now that I'm trying, she tries to act like it was so simple and that she had "no worries." I think she says this because she thinks I'll not worry. I really hate that. Irregular periods is an issues and not getting my period is an issue. If I choose to ignore this and just "try" and have sex...whenever I feel like it ... just doesn't seem like it'll cut it for me. So I'm trying to relax, and just BE. And try and not stress. It's hard. Also I'm eating and exercising ... and trying to lose. I did badly today, but tomorrow IS a new day. 11:29 p.m. - 2008-05-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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