sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- all I want. It was a long day. I really get very irritated anymore. I don't know why...stress? Regardless, it's thundering and lightening out, so this will be short. I got my three herb tinctures today: Vitex (chasteberry), Dong Quai and False Unicorn Root. All of these are to aid in getting my hormones back in order. I've been on Vitex for a while now, it's supposed to help my period return. I see - from charting - that I'm not ovulating. Or if I am, I fucked up in recording it. It's so very hard to record when you have insomnia most nights. Regardless, I am going to remain diligent in it. I am buying a fertility program that charts FOR YOU. You just input the temps and it does everything else for it. I think I have PCOS - and have low progestrone. I think this because of A. lack of periods and B. no ovulation. So I also just ordered some natural progestrone cream. After all of this stuff, I'm going to just RELAX. This ought to do SOMETHING, I hope, at least. Other than that, I realize I need to lose weight. I have been walking our dog for about a week now. Off an on and for about 20 mins of walking down the block(s). I'm going to hit the gym tomorrow, for some good ol' ellipical trainer and maybe some weights. I do feel better, but I think my weight is keeping me fucked up inside. Though, when I first got my period, it was irregular - from there to now - it's always been odd. Even when I was exercising and losing weight it still was fucked up. Again, I think I am low on progestrone, and really do not think it has to do with my weight. Regardless, I feel down right pissy. My sister gave me a pair of her pants - size 20 - that were "just toooooo biggg" and they "should" fit you. Yeah. They don't. I can get them up. but zipping them, no. So I feel pissed off because I hate that ODDNESS of "they SHOULD fit you." Like I'm some fucking monster. Argh. I reckon if I lost perhaps 15 lbs, they would fit. Ugh. The joys of trying for a baby. Lots of people have LOTS of things to say about you. So rudely, EVERYONE have the answer! Either lose some weight or "there's nothing wrong with you." I'm, frankly, getting tired of it all. I'm ready, to seriously say fuck it and go on a strict diet of low fat foods and natural things. Not that I'm not already ---- but when I had gallbladder issues, I lost weight like a MO FO because A. I wasn't eating (as much) and B. didn't eat anything over 4 grams of fat. I lost weight, but also felt like shit most of the time (cried a lot, I mean A LOT). But ah. I am going to continue with exercise and EVENTUALLY re-start up my step class - which really whips me into shape when I GO TO THE CLASS. Plus swim class too. I've just been so tired lately, after work it's so very hard to drag myself to the gym. I'd rather go home and walk the dog. That's gotta change, what is two days out of the week to not hurry home? Oh well, we'll see right? I just have to do something, I think tomorrow I will *TRY* to go to my step class - depending on if I get stuck at work or not. I think I'm running myself ragged with all this baby stuff. I'm better, really, I'm mellowing out, but hoping my period gets back on track, right now that's ALL I want. 9:06 p.m. - 2008-05-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||