sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- to spend I'm starting my new job on Monday. I can't say that I'm not somewhat apprehensive about it all. I mean leaving a job you hate, you'd think I'd be thrilled, but there is this gnawing part of me that says, what if this is worse? I guess that's just the risk you take. Because maybe it'll be better, or maybe the same. Regardless, the only thing I know is, I make more money. Which is good because today I am was buying things as if I had money. *SIGH* Me and sales ... my weakness. I bought my DH three new shirts. He really has been needing new shirts. From his last shopping spree, he has now a few good pieces of clothing. He just needs some more pants now. That boy is dressing pretty sharp now. What a change from when I first met him. I've taught him well. I bought myself 3 shirts and a pair of capri's from Lane B. I really hate how high priced plus size fat-sions are. Really, and the designs are so whorey. Or cut odd or just blah. Everything is empire wait or criss-cross boob cut or whatever. TANKS upon TANK TOPS and cartigans and t-shirts up the ass. I bought three of those satiny type shirts. They seem okay, I wonder how they wash. (Hoping they are not one-wash-wonders.) The capris - the pants in general - make me laugh. Sometimes I can do a 22. Sometimes (most often) a 24 and then sometimes a 26 (major ugh!) and jeans -- the same, except those horrid "After-7" short-lived clothing line, where even 28's fit too snug! WTF is that!? I felt really shitty trying those suckers on. I wonder what size I REALLY am anymore? In Jones New York, I can wear a 20 or 22. In Liz Clairborne I can pull off 20,22 and 24. T-shirts in 1x and 2x. Avenue is 22 and 24. I dunno. Clothing is just nuts. You just HAVE TO try stuff on anymore. Especially at Marshall's or TJ maxx. Those off-brand designers especially. You can really tell who knows a plus-size body and who doesn't (Baby Phatt - stuff is way to tight, and too revealing). Regardless, I AM NERVOUS about this upcoming week. God I've prayed for this, for so very long. Now it's here and I'm ... scared, nervous .... etc. And what is worse? I am taking this month off from getting pregnant. I told this to DH today and he gave me one of those looks that you hate to see those you love give. A shock, dissappointment/dreams crashing - type of look. Like I'd just said something so bad, as if I was saying, "I think we need to go to couseling." I instantly calmed the dear boy down. I told him it's just this month, and tried to smooth it over before he erupted. I'm not going to "protect" myself, just simply not ... exactly ask for sex when I think I'm ovulating. Uh, I just figure if it SHOULD happen, then okay. But I'm not exactly going to TRY to make it happen. Does that make sense? I'd rather wait 3 months and then try, at least I will have worked there a year before ... the baby. Hey, look the baby psychic said September would be the month.... right? Anyway, who says, afterall, that I'll get knocked up so quick, with ease? Regardless, this is the last thing on my mind right now. Right now it's all about the new job and about paying off my lovely bills. Oh yeah, my car broke down and I shelled out $600 to fix it. And then put (stupid) some presents (Around $100) on there. Just keep on adding to it, it'll get paid right? Ugh.....hope this job turns out and hope that HR lady wasn't pulling my leg when she said they get cash bonuses. I guess it will be nice to work for a company who isn't penny pinching. I mean a ca s i no ... that'll never go out of business as long as people have money and hope to spend. 9:40 p.m. - 2008-06-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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