sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- barely balancing as it is Just a quickie update. I'm very tired. Our basement is still flooding. Just in puddles - but it's a river. I went and bought a new shop vac and started to clean up...and every time I turned around, where I'd just gotten the water up, more had seeped in. So I gave up after an hour of dumping 6 - yes 6 - 16 gallon bucket full. I can't fathom how much that really is. My back hurts and I'm very cranky. I've been cranky since I returned from Michigan. Going up there was crazy traffic. Then my parents bought me everything - which to some would be sweet - but I felt/feel guilty.... Then going home in a fucking HURRICANE, then the basement is flooded (go see my blog for video --- http://jenalo.blogspot.com/ Regardless, it just has been a bum time. I also talked to a friend of mine about my whole - trying to get pregnant woes. She saw my charts and laughed - and she is right - and told me that it seems there are many issues - the foremost is obviously - not having enough sex. Then when I did have sex, it wasn't good timing and then lastly, I might not be charting right as when I take my temperature it's sometimes when I've been laying awake a while, etc. etc. So ... I am still seeing my doctor in October. I agree I really haven't been totally devoted to this, if you look at my timeline - February I had surgery - then into March didn't have sex due to healing. April/May - sort of half-assed tried, but not enough sex. May into June, got a new job and didn't want to get pregnant. July - HE had surgery, NO sex. August - had sex, I think ... once *gasp* and now here we are! September! Only twice so far and then we planned on every other day right now because I think I'm ready to ovulate or did already? Or probably will not as I did travel. October I think I will OFFICIALLY try? I'm worried as last month I didn't get my period due to stress and wondering if this month will be the same? I sort of can't wait to see the doctor ... though I'm worried as I have gained weight ... no gym and depression eating isn't a good mix. I blame myself, my weakness for what I've come to be. Anyway, I think I AM getting sick though. I just feel really blah - for the last few days. My co-worker is very sick and came to work. Now me and my other co-worker have been feeling a bit under the weather. Like I feel something is wrong in my body. Sort of like when I realized I had gallbladder issues. Now my mom keeps saying I have an ulcer. I'm not sure why ... I guess it's because my stomach seems to get upset ... A LOT. Plus I get stomachaches and heartburn quite a bit. I don't know, I just think I'm stressed and need a break. But I swear, I have no more breaks, there is always SOMETHING going on. Right now I'm in the THICK of things where I can't find a moment to BREATHE. I despise this type of thing. I just wish I had some time to collect myself and my life and just ... I don't know. Today, for the first time in SOME time, I got my kitchen back in some type of order. I'm a neat freak ... and for a few weeks my kitchen has been chaos. With stuff all over or dishes not put away, etc. Now that hubby is working again, I guess I have to start ... putting our house life back together. I already told hubby that we MUST work on this house as things are starting to deteriorate - meaning outside. Our garage has a rotten piece of trim - which is NOT good. And our windows - GOD love them from the 70's - need to be painted before they TOO rot. So this weekend I am thinking of poo-pooing out on this walk I said I'd do for my job. I know it's bad that I put my name in the hat, but with everything going on .. ah ... I'm not sure I am going to go? I also want to get back to the gym. I'm thinking next paycheck I will re-join. I just hope I don't have to RE-PAY for joining. That's just ... blah since it's only been a MONTH since I canceled. I'm not sure... Regardless - I'm toying with "playing dumb" and going in saying my husband was supposed to put our membership on hold ... and when they say .. it was canceled, I can act in all surprise! "What? I told him to put it on hold...geez men!" I'm pretty good at doing mini-acting / white-lies. I guess it's because I appear so honest and innocent. I don't know ... the things I do to save a buck! Seriously ... I have to start up a laundry list of things I have to do. I really WISH the guy would finish our house. See I gave him until Sept. 20 to finish up our house, if not we're going to court. I pray that he'll just FINISH the job so I don't have to take more time - and time off work - to go to court. He was supposed to come today and didn't ... so ... no calls, no nothing. Nothing, nothing ... I mean ... court seems like the answer now. Yeah, Jen needs to slow down and start cutting things out of her life ... like stress. So I think right now calls for a clean-out and re-collect of my life. I'm barely balancing as it is .... 10:53 p.m. - 2008-09-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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