sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this. It's strange to talk about the future with my family. They seem optimistic, whereas I feel mostly doubtful. We're talking about a big family trip to Florida January 2010. That's odd enough to say, 2010. But with my sister currently pregnant, her child will be I think 8 months old if we should go and her other child will be 2. My mom said that she'd watch "my baby" by then. I felt a shudder go through me. I guess it's strange when people feel so sure of things in your life. I know my mom/sister think I'm nuts because of my whole feeling that I have issues with getting pregnant. I don't know how to feel about it all. Granted I have NOT been trying as I should. I also am very afraid - I see my gyn next Friday. I'm going to show her my charts and PLEAD not to have any tests other than a blood test. I also started using my Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. Which today - my first day - showed that I was high fertility? I read that it takes a month for it to get used to you. I also am still spotting from my period from hell. So it's strange to see. I also am on day 3 of Weight Watchers! I kept within my points yesterday and today did pretty well. Went to the mall with sister and walked all over and then went to Max & Erma's - got the shrimp salad because I knew I would eat some cookies ... still staying in my point range. Also exercised today. I just figure if I am trying for a child, I might as well get my body healthy too. I read by simply losing 10 pounds it'll help conceive. I also know, and feel slightly embarrassed about the lack of sex. I know I ought to be doing it every other day, but really, I think we've been doing it 3 or 4 times a month. So right now, OCTOBER we are going to start the every other day thing - I think beginning tomorrow night - Sunday. So we'll see. I just feel very nervous to see my gyn. I guess because I've read about the tests they can give - two in mind - have me shaking in my boots. Also I think she might laugh at me because of my lack of sex AND lack of trying and it hasn't been a full year yet. The only reason I'm going is due to my chart issues. Oh well. I do feel good that I am doing this whole WW thing. It's also very strange to be around pregnant women, just knowing there is something IN THERE. Like my sister, who I doesn't realize how rude it is when she puts on something in MY SIZE and says, "THIS IS HUGE" ....uh hello. She's only 3 months and really has begun to fill out. Her face and her abs ... yikes. I wondered what'll happen whenever I become pregnant. I have to have some hope right? More GOOD NEWS is that we nearly paid off hubby's medical bills!!! SO GOOD TIMES. I was very excited about this. 7:20 p.m. - 2008-10-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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