sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Living dead. It's been a horrible week. Here's what happened: My husband got laid off AGAIN. We went to the doctor about his problem, and he has to go through MORE tests. I have a zillion bills. Christmas, the HOLIDAYS are coming. We don't have much saved up. I've been crying since yesterday. How come this shit is happening to us? The same day this happens MY doctor calls and tells me that if my husband's LH and FSH levels are too high or low ... something ... then it means we'll never have kids. I feel like I could cry all day long, whenever I think about these recent bad things, I tear up. It's getting hard to hide these feelings, maybe I'm not that strong anymore. I think I'm becoming weak. The once strong walls of steel are not crumbled down enough that I can barely hide it. It's hard when you've got more than yourself to think about, in your life. I feel like ... I'm the man in the relationship, I am the constant, the thinker, I take care of it all, and worry about it all and plan it all. I wish I could sit back for the ride and feel that everything will be alright. But I have no faith in people, this economy. I am losing faith in everything, and when that happens ... I don't know what I'll be or become. The living dead? 9:35 p.m. - 2008-11-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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