sourgurl77's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pick up... Ugh. I gained two pounds from my horrid period week. I am getting back off the ground and dusting myself off and going to hit the gym and eat right again this week to hopefully lose those two pounds and hopefully one more with it! I went to the bookstore today and read up on fertility. I read about PCOS ... and still am not sure if I do have it. I think I might have a form of it, but not the entire thing. I kept racking my brain for what my blood tests were for ... that I had about 3 or so months ago. I know it was prolactin (normal) and LH and FSH or something like that. My progesterone was low, I do know that, and the doctor didn't think I ovulated that month. Other than this, my blood sugar/glucose is fine too. I don't have the pcos ... hair issues or skin tags or darkening of the skin (dr checked last time) ... I just am overweight with irregular periods. I read that if you lose 10% or 15% of your weight, it greatly helps your cycle. So I am aiming to lose *gulp* around 30 pounds right now. I also ... read that all those herbs I was on... to supposedly HELP me ... well they AREN'T. In fact they could be going AGAINST my BODY. SO Vitex/Chaste Berry ... Dong quai ... Soy isolflavons ... red raspberry ... ALL of them are in my trash can right now. I *Did* take soy isofl. this month, I mean I am tonight and tomorrow ... but that's only because they are supposed to help w/ ovulation. So I am doing a "test" this month. I take them days 5-9 and that's it. I am going to do an ovulation test this month and see if it worked. Next month I am going CLEAN. No herbs. Just my metformin and prenatals. That's it. I am hoping my period comes w/o using that damn provera. I am currently in the end of my period. Which is good because I've just felt blah this whole week. I had to take off time because my flow was so heavy. I hope my pay check doesn't get hit to hard by my days off. Other than this, I can't wait to go back to the gym. I also have begun walking my dog after work. But ONLY on nice days - 35-40 is too cold to walk around in. 45-50+ I am cool with. I like to get the extra exercise AND get the dog some exercise so he gets wore out and not so crazy at night. Regardless. I'm still very worried about paying off bills. I constantly go through this. I didn't worry quite this much before..but that was before hubby was laid off twice. Now where he works ... it's full time but they haven't started taking taxes out of his check. That worries me. I worry about them just putting him back at part time and unemployment not helping us ... or them laying him off ... and no unemployment....etc. This economy is horrible. Completely bleak. I worry a lot about my own job. If I lost my job ... we'd have NO health insurance and currently I am the bread winner. I also worry about us getting pregnant. I do want a baby, but I see us each month, struggling ... and we don't even HAVE a baby yet. The extra expense? I guess I could say...if I didn't have my fucking visa - $250 a month bill ... I'd have that extra cash in my pocket. I know it's my fault ... and in reality, I own $4,500 -- which ... really isn't a lot ... if you look at others who owe like $10,000 ..... however I just want to get it to $2,000 and then I can start to breathe a bit easier. I figure when I get my raise in April ... and we get a bonus ($250 or $750) ... perhaps I can knock out a chunk. BuT another issue is we *HAVE* to get new gutters and fascia for our house since we had to take our contractor to court and he's never going to pay us back. Therefore ... that's $1,800 that we have to come up with - I already figured that will have to get a loan from our bank (lower apr) ... so adding another bill on the pile! FUCK. We HAVE to get it done though, our basement is flooding due to our bad gutters ... and the fascia ... it worse ... the asshole but the siding up, but left the old fascia that if the wind blows too hard will come off the house ... the wood under it begins to rot and it's a huge mess. So ah. I just wish ... we could come into money somehow or I could do something. Hubby is looking into freelance ... and yeah. I'm looking at things to sell on Ebay. Hopefully ... I will get the big raise of $750. That would be awesome or maybe a tax return....that would be LOVELY if we did indeed get a really nice tax return! I doubt it though....uh we go next Saturday, so we'll see.... I just wish the economy would pick up.... 10:44 p.m. - 2009-03-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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